Category: Animal Jokes

A guy walks into a bar and there is a horse serving drinks. The guy stares until the horse finally says, “What’s the problem? Haven’t you ever seen a horse serving drinks before?”
The guy says, “No, it’s not that. It is just that I never thought the ferret would sell the place.”

Kerry the tomcat was scampering all over the neighborhood – down alleys, up fire escapes, into cellars. A disturbed neighbor knocked on the owner’s door and said,
“Your cat is rushing about like mad.” “I know,” the man conceded. “Kerry’s just been neutered, and he’s running around canceling engagements.”
- Larry Wilde –
Library of Laughter

Did you hear about the snail that got beat up by two turtles?
At the police station they asked him, “Did you get a good look at the turtles that did this? He said, “No, it all happened so fast.”

One day a duck went into a hardware store and asked the owner for some duck food. The owner looked at him funny, and said, This is a hardware store and we don’t carry duck food." The next day the duck came back to the hardware store an again asked the owner for some duck food. The owner, disturbed that the duck came back, said, I told you yesterday. This is a hardware store; we do not have any duck food! If you come back and ask for duck food again I will cement your feet in the ground!" So the next say the duck came back again and said, Do you have any cement?" "No, said the storeowner. Then, the duck said, Do you have any duck food?"