Category: Animal Jokes



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Ranking: 2.53 / 85
Did you hear about the two explorers, Bob and John who were going through the jungle when a ferocious lion jumped out in front of them?
Bob whispered to John to keep calm. Bob asked John if he remembered what they had read in the book on wild animals. “If you stand absolutely still and look the lion straight in the eye, he will turn tails and run away,” said Bob. John said, “Fine. You’ve read the book, I’ve read the book, but has the lion read the book?”
#18143    
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Jun/22/2007    pub.:Jun/22/2007    sent:Aug/14/2007


Ranking: 2.56 / 81
On your left are 3 Ostriches. On your right is a herd of gazelles being chased by a lion.
In front of you are 4 deer. Behind you are 5 stampeding horses.
What must you do to get out of this highly dangerous situation?
Get off the Merry-Go-Round!
#19072    
Thanks to: Kristen - USA.
rec.:Apr/30/2008    pub.:May/14/2008    sent:Jun/4/2008


Ranking: 2.98 / 43
A cat dies and goes to Heaven. God meets him at the gate and says, 'you have been a good cat all of these years. Anything you desire is yours, all you have to do is ask.'
The cats says, 'Well, I lived all my life with a poor family on a farm and had to sleep on hardwood floors.' God says, 'Say no more.' And instantly, a fluffy pillow appears. A few days later, 6 mice are killed in a tragic accident and they go to Heaven. God meets them at the gate with the same offer that He made the cat.
The mice said, 'All our lives we've had to run. Cats, dogs and even women with brooms have chased us. If we could only have a pair of roller skates, we wouldn't have to run anymore.' God says, 'Say no more.' And instantly, each mouse is fitted with a beautiful pair of tiny roller skates.
About a week later, God decides to check and see how the cat is doing. The cat is sound asleep on his new pillow. God gently wakes him and asks, 'How are you doing? Are you happy here?'
The cat yawns and stretches and says, 'Oh, I've never been happier in my life. And those Meals on Wheels you've been sending over are the best!
#929    
Thanks to: Ann Oberholz
rec.:Jan/24/2001    pub.:Jan/24/2001    sent:Jan/24/2001


Ranking: 2.68 / 65
A guy walks into a bar and there is a horse serving drinks. The guy stares until the horse finally says, “What’s the problem? Haven’t you ever seen a horse serving drinks before?”
The guy says, “No, it’s not that. It is just that I never thought the ferret would sell the place.”
#19989    
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Mar/30/2009    pub.:Mar/30/2009    sent:May/16/2010


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