Ranking: 2.45 / 77
Erica is walking out of a movie theatre at the same time as a man with a parrot on his shoulder. Erica turns to the man and says, "Your parrot actually seemed to understand the movie". It looked around during the boring parts, it paid close attention to the dramatic parts, it even "squawked" during the funny parts. I don't understand how that can be. The man turns to Erica and says "I don't understand it either.... he didn't like the book at all".
Thanks to: Pat - Uhrichsville - OH - USA.
Ranking: 2.75 / 48
Look over there! Said the frightened skunk to his pal.
“There’s a human with a gun, and he’s getting closer and closer! What are we going to do?”
To which the second skink calmly replied, “Let us spray ….”
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
Ranking: 2.41 / 81
There are two bats in a cave and one says to the other "I could do with some blood right now" the other said, "Me too but its almost sunrise". The first one said, "Wait here" he flies off and comes back with a mouth full of blood. The 2nd bat says, "Hey where'd ya get that blood from?" The other replies, "Ya see that tree over there?"
"Well I didn't"
The 2nd bat looks puzzled and says, "What’s that got to do with blood?"
The first one rolls his eyes and flies off.
Thanks to: Ellen - United Kingdom
Ranking: 3.00 / 34
Three male dogs: a Pit Bull, a German Shepherd and a Chihuahua, sat at the end of a bar downing a few drinks when a beautiful lady Collie walked in and sat at the opposite end. She noticed that they were drooling over her and offered them a deal. "If any of you can use the words 'liver' and 'cheese' in a sentence that I like, I'll let you buy me a drink."
The male dogs started punching each other, feeling quite sure of themselves. The Pit Bull blurts out, "I like liver and cheese."
"No! How base!" snarls the lady Collie.
Then the Shepherd speaks up, "Liver and cheese make good food."
The Collie turns her head and says, "Ha! No good!"
Finally, the little Chihuahua crawls up on the bar and speaks,
"Liver alone, cheese mine!" He got to buy the lady the drink.
Thanks to: Becky O'Banion
rec.:Dec/18/1999 pub.:Dec/18/1999 sent:Dec/18/1999