Category: Animal Jokes

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Ranking: 2.35 / 89
A lion was getting rather old and slow and having difficulty catching its prey. It decided it needed a disguise so that other animals did not know it was a lion and would not run away. So it goes into a fancy dress shop and buys a gorilla suit. It then heads for a watering hole to see if it can catch something with its new disguise. On the way it comes across two eagles sitting on a rock. One eagle says to it "Hi Mr. Lion!" The other said, "Where did you get the gorilla suit?" The lion, rather frustrated, asks, "How did you know I was a lion?" The eagles then started to sing, "You can't hide your lion eyes".
Thanks to: Frank Savidge - London - England - United Kingdom
rec.:Jul/11/2003    pub.:Aug/19/2003    sent:Dec/30/2003

Ranking: 2.74 / 46
A couple of pigeons made a date to meet on the ledge outside the tenth floor of a skyscraper. The female was there on time, but the male arrived an hour late.
“Where were you? I was worried sick.”
“It was such nice day, I decided to walk.”

Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Oct/7/2003    pub.:Oct/7/2003    sent:Sep/18/2004

Ranking: 2.42 / 76
Erica is walking out of a movie theatre at the same time as a man with a parrot on his shoulder. Erica turns to the man and says, "Your parrot actually seemed to understand the movie". It looked around during the boring parts, it paid close attention to the dramatic parts, it even "squawked" during the funny parts. I don't understand how that can be. The man turns to Erica and says "I don't understand it either.... he didn't like the book at all".
Thanks to: Pat - Uhrichsville - OH - USA.
rec.:Jan/24/2003    pub.:May/8/2003

Ranking: 2.97 / 34
There were three pigs. The biggest pig went to the market and asked for the largest soda. He gulped it up and asked where the bathroom is. "Right over there," says the store clerk. Then, the middle pig went to the market and asked for the largest soda. He gulped it down and asked where the bathroom was too. "Right over there," said the store clerk. Finally, the littlest pig came in the market and asked for the largest soda. He gulped it all down. The store clerk asked," Aren't you gonna ask where the bathroom is?" "Nope," said the little pig," Don't u remember I'm the one that wee wees all the way home."
Thanks to: Patrick McGhee
rec.:Jan/17/2001    pub.:Jan/17/2001    sent:Jan/17/2001

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