Category: Animal Jokes

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Ranking: 2.22 / 81
Three ducks, in line, are crossing the road. “The duck in the back says, “Quack, quack!”
The duck in the front says, “Hey, I’m moving as fast as I can!”
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Dec/11/2003    pub.:Dec/11/2003    sent:Jul/16/2004

Ranking: 2.93 / 28
A motorcycle cop sees a guy in a station wagon loaded with penguins. The cop, sensing something suspicious, immediately pulls the station wagon over. "You can't drive around with all those penguins," he tells the man. "You need to take them to the zoo." "Good idea," replies the driver. The cop then lets him drive away. The next day, the same cop notices the same station wagon drive by. This time, he notices that all the penguins are wearing sunglasses. "I thought I told you to take these penguins to the zoo, sir!" he tells the driver emphatically. "But I did, officer. And they liked it so much that today we're going to the beach."
Thanks to: Anonymous
rec.:Jul/15/1998    pub.:Jul/15/1998    sent:Jul/15/1998

Ranking: 2.30 / 69
Why did the turtle cross the road? “To get to the shell station.”

Why was the turtle so shiny when he left the shell station?
He used some turtle wax!
Thanks to: Thomas Mercer - Georgia - USA.
rec.:Feb/18/2004    pub.:Feb/19/2004    sent:Mar/20/2004

Ranking: 2.72 / 36
A male crab and a female lobster are dating, but they are hiding it from their parents because of the obvious reason. Eventually the lobster gets tired of all the secrecy and she tells her father, who is furious and forbids her to see the crab again.

“But why can’t I see the crab again? We’re in love!” cries the lobster.
“Because,” says the father, trying to search for a reasonable answer, “crabs walk sideways and we walk straight!”
“Please, father,” she begs. “Just meet him once and I’m sure you will change your mind.”
The father finally agrees to meet the crab and she runs our to tell him the good news.
The crab is so excited that he practices walking straight. He practices and practices until finally he can walk straight. He walks the entire way to the lobster’s house as straight as he can.
The father sees him coming and yells to his daughter, “Hey, here comes that crab and he’s drunk!”
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Feb/10/2004    pub.:Feb/10/2004    sent:Apr/30/2004

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