Category: Animal Jokes

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Ranking: 2.54 / 41
A man walks into his local butcher's shop and complains about the leg of lamb that he had previously bought, when I cooked it the joint had shrunk so much it went from 12 inches long to only 4-inches. The butcher said to the man that’s funny my wife knitted me a sweater and when she washed it, it was also 4-inches in length, what’s your sweater got to do with my leg of lamb asked the man, the butcher replied well they both must have come from the same sheep.
Thanks to: john scott - glasgow - north lanarkshire - United Kingdom
rec.:Sep/9/2002    pub.:Dec/3/2002

Ranking: 2.39 / 51

Two fleas were walking out of a cinema when they discovered it was raining hard.
“Shall we walk?” said one flea.
“No,” said the other, “Let’s take a dog.”
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Jan/22/2003    pub.:Jan/22/2003

Ranking: 2.24 / 66
“Doctor,” said the patient, “I need help! I can’t stop acting like a cat!”
“How long have you had this problem?” the doctor asked.
“Lest’s see,” said the patient, “Mom had the litter in ’41…
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Jul/1/2003    pub.:Jul/1/2003    sent:Aug/18/2003

Ranking: 3.10 / 20
A lonely frog telephoned the Psychic Hotline and asked what his future holds.
His Personal Psychic Advisor tells him, "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you."
The frog is thrilled, "This is great! Will I meet her at a party?" he croaks.
"No," says the psychic, "in biology class."
Thanks to: Dede Molter - USA.
rec.:Dec/23/1999    pub.:Dec/23/1999    sent:Dec/23/1999

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