Category: Animal Jokes



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Ranking: 3.60 / 134
The Top Ten Differences Between Cats & Dogs:
10. Dogs come when you call them. Cats take a message and get back to you when they are good and ready.
9. Dogs will let you give them a bath without taking out a contract on your life.
8. Dogs will bark to wake you up if the house is on fire. Cats will quietly sneak out the back door.
7. Dogs will bring you your slippers or the evening newspaper.Cats might bring you a dead mouse.
6. Dogs will play Frisbee with you all afternoon. Cats will take a three-hour nap.
5. Dogs will sit on the car seat next to you. Cats have to have their own private box or they will not go at all.
4. Dogs will greet you and lick your face when you come home from work. Cats will be mad that you went to work at all.
3. Dogs will sit, lie down, and heel on command. Cats will smirk and walk away.
2. Dogs will tilt their heads and listen whenever you talk. Cats will yawn and close their eyes.
1. Dogs will give you unconditional love forever. Cats will make you pay for every mistake you've ever made since the day you were born.
#699    
Thanks to: Samantha
rec.:Jun/21/2000    pub.:Jun/21/2000    sent:Nov/24/2012


Ranking: 3.34 / 174
A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him playing chess with his dog. He watched the game in astonishment for a while. "I can hardly believe my eyes!" he exclaimed. "That's the smartest dog I've ever seen."

"Nah, he's not so smart," the friend replied. "I've beaten him three games out of five."
#21245    
Thanks to: nick1279 - Greece
rec.:Jun/14/2010    pub.:Jul/1/2010    sent:Aug/26/2012


Ranking: 3.45 / 109
A frog telephones the Psychic Hotline for advice. The Psychic tells him: "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you." The frog is thrilled, "This is great! Will I meet her at a party?" "No," says his Advisor, "in her biology class."
#106    
Thanks to: Soledad Alarcón - Santiago - R. M. - Chile
rec.:Jul/26/1998    pub.:Jul/26/1998    sent:Jan/29/2008


Ranking: 3.47 / 101
SINGLE FEMALE seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I'm a
very good looking girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods,
riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping and fishing trips, cozy winter nights
lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. Rub
me the right way and watch me respond. I'll be at the front door when you get home
from work, wearing only what nature gave me. Kiss me and I'm yours. Call ...
and ask for Daisy. Over 15,000 men found themselves talking to the owner of an 8-week old black Labrador retriever.
#10840    
Thanks to: Morné van der Merwe - Stellenbosch - Western Province - South Africa
rec.:Aug/21/2003    pub.:Sep/12/2003    sent:Oct/5/2003


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