Ranking: 3.24 / 125
Bill: Where did you get that gold watch Joe?
Joe: I won it in a race.
Bill: How many people participated in it?
Joe: Three, a policeman, the owner of the watch, and me!!
Thanks to: Luis Escobar - Texas - USA.
rec.:May/5/2000 pub.:May/5/2000 sent:Apr/16/2014
Ranking: 3.40 / 98
Ralph and Norris went bear hunting in Montana. While Ralph stayed in the cabin, Norris went out looking for a bear. He soon found a huge bear, shot at it but only wounded it. The enraged bear charged toward him. His rifle jammed, so he dropped it and started running for the cabin as fast as he could.
Now Norris was pretty fleet of foot, but the bear was just a little faster and gained on him with every step. Just as Norris reached the open cabin door, he tripped and fell flat. Too close behind to stop, the bear tripped over him and went rolling into the cabin.
Norris man jumped up, closed the cabin door and yelled to his friend inside, "You skin this one while I go and get another!"
Thanks to: Jim - USA.
rec.:Nov/1/2003 pub.:Dec/10/2003 sent:Mar/8/2013
Ranking: 3.19 / 129
A doctor broke the bad news to a man, that his wife would have to be admitted to a psychiatric hospital. “I’m afraid her mind’s completely gone,” he said. “Makes sense,” mumbled the man. “She’s been giving me a piece of it every day for the last 15 years.”
Thanks to: Douglas W. Koschel - ARARAT - VICTORIA - Australia
rec.:May/5/2008 pub.:May/14/2008 sent:Jun/9/2014
Ranking: 3.32 / 102
Cal was out driving in the country, seeing how his new car handled the curvy roads at high speeds. As he rounded a corner, one of his tires blew.
When he got out of the car to change the tire, he noticed that he had stopped in front of the state mental asylum. There was also a man sitting on the brick wall in front of the facility.
The driver went about his business, not paying any attention to the guy on the fence. He first took his tire iron and jack out of the car, and got the car jacked up. Then, he removed the hubcap. Next, he removed the six lug nuts, and placed them in the hubcap for safekeeping.
About this time, the guy on the fence decided to start a conversation. This startled the driver, and he reeled around quickly, knocking over the hubcap, and the lug nuts fell into the sewer drain.
The driver gets angry with the guy on the fence, shouting, "Now look what you made me do. Now I'm going to have to walk to town to buy some new lug nuts. Just go back inside and leave me be."
The guy on the fence says, "Why don't you just take one lug nut from each of your other three wheels, and use them on this one. That should hold it steady enough for you to drive the car to the auto parts store."
The driver asks, "That's a brilliant idea...then why are you here?"
The guy on the fence replies, "I'm just crazy, not stupid."
Thanks to: Jennifer Letcher - Tulsa - OK - USA.
rec.:Aug/17/2003 pub.:Aug/19/2003 sent:Nov/28/2014