Category: Marriage Jokes

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Ranking: 3.06 / 236
A few days before her birthday a husband asked his wife, “Dear, what would you like for your present?”
Wife: I really don’t think I should say.
Husband: How about a diamond ring?
Wife: I don’t care much for diamonds.
Husband: well, then, a mink coat?
Wife: You know I do not like furs.
Husband: A golden necklace?
Wife: I already have three of them.
Husband: Well, gosh, what do you want?
Wife: What I’d really like is a divorce
Husband: Hmmm, I wasn’t planning on spending that much
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Apr/3/2002    pub.:Apr/3/2002    sent:Dec/1/2012

Ranking: 3.87 / 75
A guy gets home, runs into his house, slams the door and says, Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!"
The wife says, "Wow! That's great! I'm so happy! Should I pack for the ocean, or should I pack for the mountains?"
He says, "I don't care. Just get out!"
Thanks to: Torres, Olga
rec.:Sep/29/1999    pub.:Sep/29/1999    sent:Sep/29/1999

Ranking: 3.16 / 182
At the gates to heaven a new arrival, George noted that there were two paths, one marked Women, and one marked Men. He took the later path and found that it lead to two gates.
The gate on the right had a sign that said: Men who were dominated by their Wives. The sign on the left read: Men who dominated their Wives. The right-hand gate had a long line of men waiting, but there was only one scrawny little fellow at the left-hand gate.
George, before deciding which gate to go to, went over to the scrawny man and asked,
“Why are you at this gate?” the little fellow replied, “I don’t know. My wife just told me
to stand here.”

Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Apr/13/2002    pub.:Apr/13/2002    sent:Apr/22/2003

Ranking: 3.46 / 114
One day Little Jonnie says to his father:
I want to get married.
Father: Oh, so do you have someone special in your mind?
Johnny: Yes...Grandma
Father: What? There is a problem now; you want to marry my Mother?
Johnny: Why not? You married my mother
Thanks to: Taylor-Marie Livingstom - CA - USA.
rec.:Jun/22/2007    pub.:Aug/28/2007    sent:Oct/31/2007

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