Category: Marriage Jokes

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Ranking: 3.57 / 96
A couple celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary. When they were asked what their secret was to a long lasting marriage they said:
"We take the time to go out to a restaurant two times a week. A candlelight dinner, soft music and a slow walk home. She goes on Tuesdays, and I go on Fridays."
Thanks to: Gary Killops - Canada
rec.:Feb/24/2002    pub.:Feb/24/2002    sent:Jan/21/2013

Ranking: 2.81 / 319
After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." 
And the husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice it."
Thanks to: Manohar - Bilaspur - Chattisgarh - India
rec.:Jul/29/2001    pub.:Jul/29/2001    sent:Feb/4/2003

Ranking: 3.52 / 99
Over breakfast one morning, a woman said to her husband, "I bet you don't know what day this is." "Of course I do," he indignantly answered, going out the door on his way to the office. At 10 a.m., the doorbell rang, and when the woman opened the door, she was handed a box containing a dozen long-stemmed red roses. At 1 p.m., a foil-wrapped, two pound box of her favorite chocolates arrived. Later, a boutique delivered a designer dress. The woman couldn't wait for her husband to come home. "First the flowers, then the candy, and then the dress!" she exclaimed. "I've never spent a more wonderful Groundhog Day in my whole life!"
Thanks to: Anna - Mn - USA.
rec.:Jun/10/2004    pub.:Jun/17/2004    sent:Jun/22/2009

Ranking: 3.57 / 92
There was a rich man who was approached by a poor beggar asking for food.
The rich man asked, "Do you smoke? I could give you some cigarettes."
The beggar responded, "No, I don't. I am just hungry and want food."
Then the rich man asked, "Do you drink? I have a bottle of good whiskey I could give you."
The beggar replied, "No, I don't drink. I am just hungry and need food."
Finally the rich man asked, "Do you gamble? I could give you some good tips on the races this weekend."
The beggar again replied, "No. I am just hungry and want some food."
Finally the rich man said, "Well, in that case, I had better take you to my home."
He invited the beggar into his car and drove him to his very substantial home. There, he introduced the beggar to his wife, who asked, "What are you going to do with this man? Are you going to invite him to live with us, eat our food, and wear our clothes?"
The man replied, "No, of course not. I just wanted to show you what happens to a man who doesn't smoke, drink or gamble."
Thanks to: Curt Repsis
rec.:Jun/17/1999    pub.:Jun/17/1999    sent:Jun/17/1999

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