Category: Marriage Jokes

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Ranking: 3.39 / 87
An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 50 years. The wizard says, “Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the course on you.” The old man says without hesitation, “I now pronounce you man and wife.”
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Apr/27/2010    pub.:Apr/27/2010    sent:Nov/29/2014

Ranking: 3.24 / 105
The wife saw her husband frustrated reading the Marriage Certificate from top to bottom, flip it over, and then read it again...
She asked:" Honey, what are you looking for?"
He answered:" Nothing dear, I’m just looking for the expiration date for this paper..."
Thanks to: belal almomani - Jordan
rec.:Aug/29/2008    pub.:Sep/23/2008    sent:Dec/16/2008

Ranking: 2.94 / 165
“Now, that looks like a happily married couple.” Remarks the husband.
“Don’t be too sure, my Dear. They are probable saying the same thing about us.” Replied his wife.
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Oct/11/2005    pub.:Oct/11/2005    sent:Jun/13/2014

Ranking: 3.15 / 112
The "car way" of telling how far the relationship is:
-- Trying to impress the woman: unlocks and opens the door, waits for her to get inside, closes her door behind her
-- Dating: the guy unlocks her door and then goes around to his side to get in
-- Engaged: The man opens his door leans over and unlocks her door and opens it.
-- Married: The man gets in to the driver's seat, unlocks the doors, and says "Aren't you getting in?"
Thanks to: Mike - USA.
rec.:Oct/27/2004    pub.:Nov/1/2004    sent:Jul/18/2015

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