Category: Marriage Jokes



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Ranking: 2.81 / 37
 A woman was worried whether or not her dead husband made it to heaven, so she decided to try to contact his spirit by having a seance.  
Sure enough, after the usual mumbo-jumbo of calling to the spirits, her husband's voice was heard answering, "Hello Margaret, this is meeee..."
 "Fred," she answered. I just have to know if you're happy there in the afterlife. What's it like there?"  
 "Ooooooh, it's much more beautiful here than I ever imagined," Fred answered. "The sky is bluer, the air is cleaner, and the pastures are much more lush and green than I ever expected. And the only thing we do, all day long, are eat and sleep, eat and sleep, over and over."  
"Thank God, you made it to heaven," his wife cried.  
"Heaven?" he answered. "What heaven? I'm a buffalo in Montana."
#687    
Thanks to: Donna Stuckert - USA.
rec.:Jun/7/2000    pub.:Jun/7/2000    sent:Jun/7/2000


Ranking: 2.48 / 58
A couple making plans for their vacation.
Wife: I am afraid the mountain air would disagree with me.
Husband: My Love, it wouldn’t dare!
#16479    
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Feb/20/2006    pub.:Feb/20/2006    sent:Jun/3/2007


Ranking: 2.94 / 31
A wife says to her husband one weekend morning, We've got such a clever dog. He brings in the daily newspapers every morning. Her husband replied Well, lots of dogs can do that. The wife responded, But we've never subscribed to any papers!!!
#752    
Thanks to: Victor - Saskatoon - Saskatchewan - Canada
rec.:Aug/23/2000    pub.:Aug/23/2000    sent:Aug/23/2000


Ranking: 2.80 / 35
A guy was cutting the tail off his dog. His neighbor asked, "What the hell are you doing?"
“My mother-in-law is coming to visit and I don't want any sign of welcome" He replied.
#23353    
Thanks to: Tarlok Chugh - Calgary - Alberta - Canada
rec.:Feb/24/2013    pub.:Jun/21/2013    sent:Jul/20/2014


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