A couple making plans for their vacation.
Wife: I am afraid the mountain air would disagree with me.
Husband: My Love, it wouldn’t dare!
Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Feb/20/2006 pub.:Feb/20/2006 sent:Jun/3/2007
2.94 / 31
A wife says to her husband one weekend morning, We've got such a clever dog. He brings in the daily newspapers every morning. Her husband replied Well, lots of dogs can do that. The wife responded, But we've never subscribed to any papers!!!
Victor - Saskatoon - Saskatchewan - Canada
rec.:Aug/23/2000 pub.:Aug/23/2000 sent:Aug/23/2000
2.88 / 33
A man gets married and shortly afterwards his wife dies. A friend tries to console him and asks, "What happened to your wife?"
"She died of poison from eating mushrooms," said the husband.
This man gets married a second time, and not long after the marriage, this second wife dies. The same friend tries to console the grieving husband and asks, "What happened to your second wife?"
"She died of poison from eating mushrooms," was also the reply from the husband.
This man takes a third wife and, not very long after the marriage, the third wife dies.
The consoling friend asks, "What happened to your third wife? Was it mushroom poisoning?"
The grieving husband responds, "No, she died of a broken neck."
"A broken neck!" replies the friend.
"Yes," says the husband, "she wouldn't eat her mushrooms."
rec.:Oct/12/1998 pub.:Oct/12/1998 sent:Oct/12/1998
2.55 / 47
Tired of having to balance his wife Lucy’s checkbook, Bob made a deal with her; he would only look at it after she had spent a few hours trying to wrestle it into shape. Only then would he lend his expertise.
The following night, after spending hours poring over stubs and figures, the woman said proudly, “There! I’ve done it! I made it balance!”
Impressed, Bob came over to take a look.
“Let’s see … mortgage 550.00…electricity 70.50…phone 35.00.” His brow wrinkled
as he read the last entry. “It says here ESP, 615.00. What the heck is that?”
“Oh,” she said, “That means, Error Some Place.”
Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Jul/1/2003 pub.:Jul/1/2003 sent:Aug/19/2003