Category: Marriage Jokes

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Ranking: 2.88 / 34
A man gets married and shortly afterwards his wife dies. A friend tries to console him and asks, "What happened to your wife?"
"She died of poison from eating mushrooms," said the husband.
This man gets married a second time, and not long after the marriage, this second wife dies. The same friend tries to console the grieving husband and asks, "What happened to your second wife?"
"She died of poison from eating mushrooms," was also the reply from the husband.
This man takes a third wife and, not very long after the marriage, the third wife dies.
The consoling friend asks, "What happened to your third wife? Was it mushroom poisoning?"
The grieving husband responds, "No, she died of a broken neck."
"A broken neck!" replies the friend.
"Yes," says the husband, "she wouldn't eat her mushrooms."
Thanks to: Jim
rec.:Oct/12/1998    pub.:Oct/12/1998    sent:Oct/12/1998

Ranking: 2.81 / 37
 A woman was worried whether or not her dead husband made it to heaven, so she decided to try to contact his spirit by having a seance.  
Sure enough, after the usual mumbo-jumbo of calling to the spirits, her husband's voice was heard answering, "Hello Margaret, this is meeee..."
 "Fred," she answered. I just have to know if you're happy there in the afterlife. What's it like there?"  
 "Ooooooh, it's much more beautiful here than I ever imagined," Fred answered. "The sky is bluer, the air is cleaner, and the pastures are much more lush and green than I ever expected. And the only thing we do, all day long, are eat and sleep, eat and sleep, over and over."  
"Thank God, you made it to heaven," his wife cried.  
"Heaven?" he answered. "What heaven? I'm a buffalo in Montana."
Thanks to: Donna Stuckert - USA.
rec.:Jun/7/2000    pub.:Jun/7/2000    sent:Jun/7/2000

Ranking: 2.48 / 58
A couple making plans for their vacation.
Wife: I am afraid the mountain air would disagree with me.
Husband: My Love, it wouldn’t dare!
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Feb/20/2006    pub.:Feb/20/2006    sent:Jun/3/2007

Ranking: 2.91 / 32
A wife says to her husband one weekend morning, We've got such a clever dog. He brings in the daily newspapers every morning. Her husband replied Well, lots of dogs can do that. The wife responded, But we've never subscribed to any papers!!!
Thanks to: Victor - Saskatoon - Saskatchewan - Canada
rec.:Aug/23/2000    pub.:Aug/23/2000    sent:Aug/23/2000

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