Category: Marriage Jokes

At Saint Mary's Catholic Church they have a weekly husband's marriage seminar. At the session last week, the Priest asked Luigi, who was approaching his 50th wedding anniversary, to take a few minutes and share some insight into how he had managed to stay married to the same woman for all these years. Luigi replied to the assembled husbands,
“Wella, I've tried to treat her nice, spend money on her, but best of all is that I took her to Italy for the 25th anniversary!” The priest responded, "Luigi, you are an amazing inspiration to all the husbands here!” Please tell us what you're planning for your wife for your 50th anniversary." Luigi proudly replied, "I'm gonna go get her."
(The Secret of a Long Marriage)

Mother: "I'm afraid our son has decided to take up acting."
Father: "What's so bad about that?"
Mother: "Well, he's gotten so big that whenever he appears in a play, he crashes right through the floor."
Father: "Don't worry about it. It's a stage he's going through..."

Q) What did the chef give his wife on Valentine's Day?
A) A hug and a quiche.

One day Mr. Jones was playing golf and died of an heart attack. Nobody wanted to tell Mrs. Jones. When Mrs. Jones got worried one of his friends told her that he lost 5,000 dollars playing poker. Mrs. Jones said he probably dropped dead. Funny you should mention that said his friend.