Ranking: 2.55 / 47
Tired of having to balance his wife Lucy’s checkbook, Bob made a deal with her; he would only look at it after she had spent a few hours trying to wrestle it into shape. Only then would he lend his expertise.
The following night, after spending hours poring over stubs and figures, the woman said proudly, “There! I’ve done it! I made it balance!”
Impressed, Bob came over to take a look.
“Let’s see … mortgage 550.00…electricity 70.50…phone 35.00.” His brow wrinkled
as he read the last entry. “It says here ESP, 615.00. What the heck is that?”
“Oh,” she said, “That means, Error Some Place.”
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Jul/1/2003 pub.:Jul/1/2003 sent:Aug/19/2003
Ranking: 2.65 / 40
A man came home from work after a horrible day at the office. His wife has complained to him over and over that he never notices her anymore, and he denied it. When he comes through the door his wife greets him and says,
"Hi, Honey. Notice anything different about me today?"
"Oh, I don't know. You got your hair done."
"Nope, try again."
"Oh, uh, you bought a new dress."
"Nope, keep trying."
"You got your nails done."
"Nope, try again."
"I give up, I'm too tired to play 20 questions."
"I'm wearing a gas mask!"
Thanks to: Jeremy - Vienna - West Virginia
rec.:Dec/25/2000 pub.:Dec/25/2000 sent:Dec/25/2000
Ranking: 2.29 / 70
(This joke should be understood in the spirit that X'tian marriages in our part of the world are almost always arranged, divorces are rare & socially stigmatic. So spouses are tolerant)
On the day I got married, my uncle gave me his piece of personal wisdom.
He said: In the first year, the wife is obedient. She listens to whatever you say. So enjoy yourself.
In the second year, the role changes & the husband listens to his wife. So it's her time to enjoy.
In the third & succeeding years, there are no more such roles. So the neighbors listen to what you shout at each other. And they enjoy.
Thanks to: ARTHUR VARGHESE - COCHIN, - KERALA - India
rec.:Jun/29/2003 pub.:Jul/10/2003 sent:Aug/25/2003
Ranking: 2.89 / 28
Two women were sitting together on an airplane. The younger woman turns to the other and says, "I don't mean to stare but your diamond ring is gorgeous. I don't think I ever saw such a large stone." The older woman said, "it's a very special ring; it comes with a curse!" "Oh my, what kind of curse" said the naive young woman. This ring comes with ...Mr. Plopnick.
Thanks to: bo salsberg - PLANTATION - FLORIDA - USA.