Category: Miscellaneous Jokes



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Ranking: 3.75 / 77
This guy wins the lottery and decides to buy the nicest car he could find. He buys a Ferrari. It went 320 mph, had a V-12 engine, and went from 0-60 in 3 seconds. He thought nobody would be able to pass him. He decided to show his car off around town. He approaches a stoplight and at that stoplight came an old guy on a moped. The old guy says, "Nice car you have there can I take a look inside." The man says, "Sure look around all you want." When the old guy came out he said the car was all right. The guy who owned the Ferrari was pissed. His car was more than all right. So he decides to show the old man what his car could do. When the light turned green the man accelerated to 140 mph. just as the guy thought he had lost the old man he saw a black dot in his rear view mirror and it was gaining on him. IT WAS THE OLD GUY ON THE MOPED. The moped past the Ferrari. The guy in the Ferrari was like "no way." He then sped up to 240 mph and dusted the moped. But just as the guy in the Ferrari thought he had it made he saw a black dot in his rear view mirror and it was gaining on him. IT WAS THE OLD GUY ON THE MOPED. The moped passed him again. The guy in the Ferrari was getting mad, how could a moped do this. The guy then said, "that’s it" and floored it. He blazed past the old man going 320 mph. The guy in the Ferrari said " there’s no way he can pass me now. But just as he said that he saw a black dot in his rear view mirror and it was gaining on him. IT WAS THE OLD GUY ON THE MOPED. There was nothing the guy in the Ferrari could do. He was going as fast as he could. But this time the guy on the moped didn't pass him; it hit the back of his car. The guy in the Ferrari stopped immediately and ran to the old man. Amazingly the old man was still alive. The guy asked the old man if there was anything he could do. The old man replied, " Unhook my suspenders off of your rear view mirror.
#2504    
Thanks to: Alex Holloway - St. Robert - Missouri - USA.
rec.:Dec/21/2001    pub.:Dec/28/2001


Ranking: 3.57 / 95
A man receives a call from his Credit Card Company, “Sir, we have detected an unusual pattern of spending on your card, and we are calling to see if everything is alright.”
“Yes,” replied the man. “My card was stolen over a month ago.” “Why didn’t you report your card as stolen?” asked the card company representative. The man replied, “Well, whoever stole my card is spending a lot less than my wife!”
#20160    
Thanks to: Felix Kneuper - Fort Stockton - TX - USA.
rec.:May/18/2009    pub.:Jun/1/2009    sent:Jan/21/2010


Ranking: 3.39 / 119
You don't have to be at a desk but you must be
sitting.

While sitting at your desk make clockwise circles with
your right foot.

While doing this, draw the number " 6 " in the air
with your right hand.

Your foot will change direction.
#10966    
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Sep/8/2003    pub.:Sep/8/2003    sent:Nov/3/2003


Ranking: 3.02 / 215
A burglar enters a house in the middle of the night. He was interrupted when the owner awoke. Drawing hi gun, the burglar said, “Don’t move or I’ll shoot. I’m hunting for your money.” “Let me turn on the light,” replied the victim, “and I’ll hunt with you”


#4078    
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Apr/13/2002    pub.:Apr/13/2002    sent:Jan/22/2003


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