Category: Miscellaneous Jokes



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Ranking: 3.65 / 72
A guy gets into a taxi after a boozy night out and halfway through the journey wants to stop and buy cigarettes. He taps the driver on the shoulder and suddenly the driver screams, swerves across the road and mounts the sidewalk stopping just short of a brick wall.
All was quiet for a few moments and then the driver turns around and says "Don't EVER tap me on the shoulder whilst I'm driving EVER again". The guy says, "I'm sorry, I didn't know it would scare you so much"
The driver replies, "It wouldn't normally but this is my first night as a taxi driver and up until yesterday, for twenty five years, I was driving a Hearse.
#15474    
Thanks to: Nitesh Shah - London - United Kingdom
rec.:Jul/5/2005    pub.:Jul/18/2005    sent:Sep/7/2005


Ranking: 3.21 / 129
A man is driving down a country road, when he spots a farmer standing in the middle of a huge field of grass. He pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices that the farmer is just standing there, doing nothing, looking at nothing. The man gets out of the car, walks all the way out to the farmer and asks him, "Ah excuse me mister, but what are you doing? “The farmer replies, "I'm trying to win a Nobel Prize. “How?" asks the man, puzzled. “Well, I heard they give the Nobel Prize . . . to people who are out standing in their field."
#17372    
Thanks to: sleepykid500 - NY - USA.
rec.:Nov/3/2006    pub.:Nov/13/2006    sent:Mar/5/2014


Ranking: 3.13 / 142
Three dreams of a man:
To be as handsome as his mother thinks.
To be as rich as his child believes.
To have as many women as his wife suspects...

#19309    
Thanks to: Jolly Uncle - New Delhi - Delhi - India
rec.:Jul/29/2008    pub.:Jul/29/2008    sent:Jan/21/2011


Ranking: 3.50 / 84
Just something funny to read.


1) It’s better to be crazy & know it than being sane & doubt it.
2) I’m lost. I've gone out to find me. If I come back before I return, please ask me to wait.
3) I live in my own little world!!! But that's okay, cause they know me there.
4) No lifeguard on duty. Swim at your own risk...
5) Daydreaming is way better than school!
6) Education is the progressive relation of our ignorance.
7) Insanity: A perfectly normal change to a normal mind.
8) The voices in my head are snoring.
9) Me? Psychotic? What gave you that idea?
10) I’m not crazy! It's the rest of you that are freaks!
11) You say I'm psycho like it's a bad thing!
12) Insanity in individuals is something rare but in groups, parties, nations, & epochs... it is the rule!!!
13) Only two things are infinite: the universe, & human stupidity...
14) My fist & your teeth have an appointment...
15) If nobody is perfect then hi, my name is Nobody.
16) Caution: Professionals at work
17) I used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.
18) Due to recent cutbacks, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off till further notice!!!
19) Lifting weights are fun!!!
Use your siblings to your advantage.
#16260    
Thanks to: nicole long - eagle mountain - utah - USA.
rec.:Dec/30/2005    pub.:Jan/11/2006    sent:Sep/30/2012


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