Category: Miscellaneous Jokes



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Ranking: 3.13 / 142
Three dreams of a man:
To be as handsome as his mother thinks.
To be as rich as his child believes.
To have as many women as his wife suspects...

#19309    
Thanks to: Jolly Uncle - New Delhi - Delhi - India
rec.:Jul/29/2008    pub.:Jul/29/2008    sent:Jan/21/2011


Ranking: 3.50 / 84
Just something funny to read.


1) Itís better to be crazy & know it than being sane & doubt it.
2) Iím lost. I've gone out to find me. If I come back before I return, please ask me to wait.
3) I live in my own little world!!! But that's okay, cause they know me there.
4) No lifeguard on duty. Swim at your own risk...
5) Daydreaming is way better than school!
6) Education is the progressive relation of our ignorance.
7) Insanity: A perfectly normal change to a normal mind.
8) The voices in my head are snoring.
9) Me? Psychotic? What gave you that idea?
10) Iím not crazy! It's the rest of you that are freaks!
11) You say I'm psycho like it's a bad thing!
12) Insanity in individuals is something rare but in groups, parties, nations, & epochs... it is the rule!!!
13) Only two things are infinite: the universe, & human stupidity...
14) My fist & your teeth have an appointment...
15) If nobody is perfect then hi, my name is Nobody.
16) Caution: Professionals at work
17) I used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.
18) Due to recent cutbacks, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off till further notice!!!
19) Lifting weights are fun!!!
Use your siblings to your advantage.
#16260    
Thanks to: nicole long - eagle mountain - utah - USA.
rec.:Dec/30/2005    pub.:Jan/11/2006    sent:Sep/30/2012


Ranking: 3.98 / 49
A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the engine of a Harley Davidson motorcycle when he spotted a well-known heart surgeon in his shop. The mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hey, Doc, can I ask you a question?" The surgeon a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic working on the motorcycle. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, "So Doc, look at this engine. I open its heart, take the valves out, fix 'em, put 'em back in, and when I finish, it works just like new. So how come I get such a small salary and you get the really big bucks, when you and I are doing basically the same work?"

The surgeon paused, smiled and leaned over, and whispered to the mechanic... "Try doing it with the engine running"
#23044    
Thanks to: Bob C - Spring City - Tennessee - USA.
rec.:Aug/24/2012    pub.:Jun/17/2013    sent:Sep/23/2013


Ranking: 3.40 / 95
Walking down the street one day, a woman heard a voice yell, 'stop! If you take one more step, you will be killed. The woman stopped and seconds later a brick fell and landed in her path.
A minute later or two, she was ready to cross the street when the same voice bellowed 'halt! Donít cross the street now'. An out-of-control beer truck soon screeched around the corner and didn't even slowdown as it ran the red light. Shaken, the woman asked out loud, "who are you?"
'I am your guardian angel' replied the voice. 'And I imagine you have some questions for me"
'You bet I do', the woman said. 'Where were you on my wedding day?'
#10376    
Thanks to: Mabel Ronnie - Yenagoa - Bayelsa - Nigeria
rec.:Jul/4/2003    pub.:Jul/10/2003    sent:May/6/2008


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