Category: Miscellaneous Jokes



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Ranking: 3.55 / 83
A man takes his place in the theater, but his seat is too far from the stage. 
He whispers to the usher, "This is a mystery, and I have to watch a mystery close up. Get me a better seat, and I'll give you a handsome tip." 
The usher moves him into the second row, and the man hands the usher a quarter. 
The usher looks at the quarter, leans over and whispers, "The wife did it."
#643    
Thanks to: SimpleSentiments.com - Pembroke - Pines Florida  - USA.
rec.:Apr/19/2000    pub.:Apr/19/2000    sent:Mar/2/2014


Ranking: 3.65 / 72
A guy gets into a taxi after a boozy night out and halfway through the journey wants to stop and buy cigarettes. He taps the driver on the shoulder and suddenly the driver screams, swerves across the road and mounts the sidewalk stopping just short of a brick wall.
All was quiet for a few moments and then the driver turns around and says "Don't EVER tap me on the shoulder whilst I'm driving EVER again". The guy says, "I'm sorry, I didn't know it would scare you so much"
The driver replies, "It wouldn't normally but this is my first night as a taxi driver and up until yesterday, for twenty five years, I was driving a Hearse.
#15474    
Thanks to: Nitesh Shah - London - United Kingdom
rec.:Jul/5/2005    pub.:Jul/18/2005    sent:Sep/7/2005


Ranking: 3.21 / 129
A man is driving down a country road, when he spots a farmer standing in the middle of a huge field of grass. He pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices that the farmer is just standing there, doing nothing, looking at nothing. The man gets out of the car, walks all the way out to the farmer and asks him, "Ah excuse me mister, but what are you doing? “The farmer replies, "I'm trying to win a Nobel Prize. “How?" asks the man, puzzled. “Well, I heard they give the Nobel Prize . . . to people who are out standing in their field."
#17372    
Thanks to: sleepykid500 - NY - USA.
rec.:Nov/3/2006    pub.:Nov/13/2006    sent:Mar/5/2014


Ranking: 3.13 / 142
Three dreams of a man:
To be as handsome as his mother thinks.
To be as rich as his child believes.
To have as many women as his wife suspects...

#19309    
Thanks to: Jolly Uncle - New Delhi - Delhi - India
rec.:Jul/29/2008    pub.:Jul/29/2008    sent:Jan/21/2011


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