Ranking: 3.31 / 107
A man was sent to prison for 20 years. He was so bored while in there; he found an ant and decided to teach it tricks - like beg, play dead, roll over, jump hair etc. He served his time and was released. He took his ant with him in a matchbox. The first place he went was to a bar. He sat down, took out the matchbox and emptied out the ant. He then said to the guy beside him, "you are not gonna believe what this ant can do". He showed him all the tricks and the guy was impressed. He told him that he could make a fortune with the ant. The guy with the ant was excited and called the bartender over and said "you see that ant?" The bartender put his finger on the ant, twisted it and said "sorry sir it won't happen again."
Thanks to: Patricia Morris - Germantown - maryland - USA.
rec.:Dec/19/2006 pub.:Feb/5/2007 sent:Jul/6/2012
Ranking: 3.63 / 70
A woman was walking in a graveyard when she saw a man kneeling by a grave shouting "WHY DID YOU HAVE TO DIE???" Feeling sorry for the man she put her hand on his arm and said "Is that your wife your grieving for?" To which the man replied, "No it’s my wife's ex husband"
Thanks to: andiman - United Kingdom
Ranking: 3.11 / 140
Two molecules are walking down the street; one bumps into the other and says:
"Oh, my fault, you okay?”
The Second Molecule says: "No, I'm not ok, I've lost an electron!" So the first molecule says: "Are you sure" the second molecule answers, "I'm positive!"
Thanks to: Anton - Canada
rec.:Feb/8/2005 pub.:Apr/1/2005 sent:Aug/19/2011
Ranking: 3.20 / 120
Having shot a moose two Antartians began dragging it by the tail to their pick-up.
On the way they were stopped by a game warden. "Let me see your hunting licenses boys," he said. When he saw that everything was in order he asked if he could give them some advice.
"Sure!" the hunters agreed.
"Well boys, I think that you would find it a lot easier to drag that moose by the horns and not the tail."
"Aye, O.K. and thanks," said the lads.
After about five minutes one said to the other, "Boy, dragging by the horns is sure a lot easier, eh?"
"Aye, you're right," said his friend, "but have you noticed that we are getting further away from the truck?"
Thanks to: Tom Reilly - Cambridge - Ont. - Canada
rec.:Oct/30/2002 pub.:Feb/7/2003 sent:Dec/21/2013