Ranking: 3.40 / 95
Walking down the street one day, a woman heard a voice yell, 'stop! If you take one more step, you will be killed. The woman stopped and seconds later a brick fell and landed in her path.
A minute later or two, she was ready to cross the street when the same voice bellowed 'halt! Don’t cross the street now'. An out-of-control beer truck soon screeched around the corner and didn't even slowdown as it ran the red light. Shaken, the woman asked out loud, "who are you?"
'I am your guardian angel' replied the voice. 'And I imagine you have some questions for me"
'You bet I do', the woman said. 'Where were you on my wedding day?'
Thanks to: Mabel Ronnie - Yenagoa - Bayelsa - Nigeria
rec.:Jul/4/2003 pub.:Jul/10/2003 sent:May/6/2008
Ranking: 3.34 / 102
Down South, Bubba called his attorney and asked, "Is it true they're
suin' the cigarette companies for causing people to get cancer?
"Yes, Bubba, sure is true,” responded the lawyer.
"And now someone's suin' them fast food restaurants for making 'em
fat and cloggin' their hearts with all them burgers and fries, is that true mister lawyer?"
"Sure is Bubba. But why you asking?"
"Cause what I want to know is, I was thinkin' can I sue Budweiser
for all them ugly women I've slept with?"
Thanks to: Jess - USA.
rec.:Jan/15/2003 pub.:Jan/21/2003 sent:Jun/17/2013
Ranking: 3.31 / 107
A man was sent to prison for 20 years. He was so bored while in there; he found an ant and decided to teach it tricks - like beg, play dead, roll over, jump hair etc. He served his time and was released. He took his ant with him in a matchbox. The first place he went was to a bar. He sat down, took out the matchbox and emptied out the ant. He then said to the guy beside him, "you are not gonna believe what this ant can do". He showed him all the tricks and the guy was impressed. He told him that he could make a fortune with the ant. The guy with the ant was excited and called the bartender over and said "you see that ant?" The bartender put his finger on the ant, twisted it and said "sorry sir it won't happen again."
Thanks to: Patricia Morris - Germantown - maryland - USA.
rec.:Dec/19/2006 pub.:Feb/5/2007 sent:Jul/6/2012
Ranking: 3.63 / 70
A woman was walking in a graveyard when she saw a man kneeling by a grave shouting "WHY DID YOU HAVE TO DIE???" Feeling sorry for the man she put her hand on his arm and said "Is that your wife your grieving for?" To which the man replied, "No it’s my wife's ex husband"
Thanks to: andiman - United Kingdom