Ranking: 3.09 / 138
Two molecules are walking down the street; one bumps into the other and says:
"Oh, my fault, you okay?”
The Second Molecule says: "No, I'm not ok, I've lost an electron!" So the first molecule says: "Are you sure" the second molecule answers, "I'm positive!"
Thanks to: Anton - Canada
rec.:Feb/8/2005 pub.:Apr/1/2005 sent:Aug/19/2011
Ranking: 3.86 / 51
A man was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, “You are beautiful.” Then he fell asleep again. His wife had never heard him say that, so she stayed by his side. A few minutes later, his eyes fluttered open and he said, “You are cute!” The wife was disappointed because instead of “beautiful,” it was now “cute.” She said, “What happened to ‘beautiful’?”
Her husband replied, “The drugs are wearing off!”
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Apr/27/2010 pub.:Apr/27/2010 sent:Jul/17/2011
Ranking: 3.19 / 117
Bubba and Billy were driving down the road while drinking beer when they spotted a roadblock ahead. "We're gonna get busted," whimpered Billy. "Don't worry," said Bubba. "We'll just pull over and finish drinkin' these beers, then peel off the label and stick it on our foreheads and then toss the bottles under the seat. Just let me do the talking." They downed the beer, threw the empties out of sight and put the labels on their foreheads. When they reached the roadblock, the police officer asked, "You boys been drinking?" "No, sir," said Bubba, pointing at the labels. "Me and Billy are on the patch."
Thanks to: Dennis Varner - Spartanburg - South Carolina - USA.
rec.:Feb/25/2007 pub.:Mar/21/2007 sent:May/16/2012
Ranking: 3.12 / 129
Hoss rode into town to buy a bull. Unfortunately, when he bought it, he was left with one dollar. Hoss needed to tell his wife to come with the truck and get the bull, but telegrams cost one dollar per word. Hoss said to the telegram man,"OK. I have my one word-'comfortable'." Why do you want to tell her that?” asked the telegram man. "Oh, she's not the best reader," Hoss said. "She'll read it really slowly". (Com-for-ta-ble, get it?)
Thanks to: Rachel T. - Baton Rouge - Louisiana - USA.
rec.:Dec/29/2001 pub.:Jan/2/2002 sent:Nov/22/2010