Category: Miscellaneous Jokes



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Ranking: 3.50 / 84
Just something funny to read.


1) Itís better to be crazy & know it than being sane & doubt it.
2) Iím lost. I've gone out to find me. If I come back before I return, please ask me to wait.
3) I live in my own little world!!! But that's okay, cause they know me there.
4) No lifeguard on duty. Swim at your own risk...
5) Daydreaming is way better than school!
6) Education is the progressive relation of our ignorance.
7) Insanity: A perfectly normal change to a normal mind.
8) The voices in my head are snoring.
9) Me? Psychotic? What gave you that idea?
10) Iím not crazy! It's the rest of you that are freaks!
11) You say I'm psycho like it's a bad thing!
12) Insanity in individuals is something rare but in groups, parties, nations, & epochs... it is the rule!!!
13) Only two things are infinite: the universe, & human stupidity...
14) My fist & your teeth have an appointment...
15) If nobody is perfect then hi, my name is Nobody.
16) Caution: Professionals at work
17) I used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.
18) Due to recent cutbacks, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off till further notice!!!
19) Lifting weights are fun!!!
Use your siblings to your advantage.
#16260    
Thanks to: nicole long - eagle mountain - utah - USA.
rec.:Dec/30/2005    pub.:Jan/11/2006    sent:Sep/30/2012


Ranking: 3.40 / 95
Walking down the street one day, a woman heard a voice yell, 'stop! If you take one more step, you will be killed. The woman stopped and seconds later a brick fell and landed in her path.
A minute later or two, she was ready to cross the street when the same voice bellowed 'halt! Donít cross the street now'. An out-of-control beer truck soon screeched around the corner and didn't even slowdown as it ran the red light. Shaken, the woman asked out loud, "who are you?"
'I am your guardian angel' replied the voice. 'And I imagine you have some questions for me"
'You bet I do', the woman said. 'Where were you on my wedding day?'
#10376    
Thanks to: Mabel Ronnie - Yenagoa - Bayelsa - Nigeria
rec.:Jul/4/2003    pub.:Jul/10/2003    sent:May/6/2008


Ranking: 3.34 / 102

Down South, Bubba called his attorney and asked, "Is it true they're
suin' the cigarette companies for causing people to get cancer?
"Yes, Bubba, sure is true,Ē responded the lawyer.
"And now someone's suin' them fast food restaurants for making 'em
fat and cloggin' their hearts with all them burgers and fries, is that true mister lawyer?"
"Sure is Bubba. But why you asking?"
"Cause what I want to know is, I was thinkin' can I sue Budweiser
for all them ugly women I've slept with?"
#7413    
Thanks to: Jess - USA.
rec.:Jan/15/2003    pub.:Jan/21/2003    sent:Jun/17/2013


Ranking: 3.31 / 107
A man was sent to prison for 20 years. He was so bored while in there; he found an ant and decided to teach it tricks - like beg, play dead, roll over, jump hair etc. He served his time and was released. He took his ant with him in a matchbox. The first place he went was to a bar. He sat down, took out the matchbox and emptied out the ant. He then said to the guy beside him, "you are not gonna believe what this ant can do". He showed him all the tricks and the guy was impressed. He told him that he could make a fortune with the ant. The guy with the ant was excited and called the bartender over and said "you see that ant?" The bartender put his finger on the ant, twisted it and said "sorry sir it won't happen again."
#17536    
Thanks to: Patricia Morris - Germantown - maryland - USA.
rec.:Dec/19/2006    pub.:Feb/5/2007    sent:Jul/6/2012


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