Category: Miscellaneous Jokes

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Ranking: 3.52 / 81
An engineer, a mathematician, and a physicist were standing around the university flagpole when an English professor wandered by. “What are you doing?” he asked. “We need to know the height of the flagpole,” said one, “and we’re discussing the formulas we might use to calculate it.” “Watch!” said the English professor. He pulled the pole from its fitting, laid it on the grass, borrowed a tape measure and said, “Exactly 24 feet.” Then he replaced the pole and walked away. “English professor!” sneer the mathematician, “We ask him for the height, and he gives us the length.”
#21139    
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:May/13/2010    pub.:May/13/2010    sent:Aug/8/2015


Ranking: 3.08 / 149
Hoss rode into town to buy a bull. Unfortunately, when he bought it, he was left with one dollar. Hoss needed to tell his wife to come with the truck and get the bull, but telegrams cost one dollar per word. Hoss said to the telegram man,"OK. I have my one word-'comfortable'." Why do you want to tell her that?” asked the telegram man. "Oh, she's not the best reader," Hoss said. "She'll read it really slowly". (Com-for-ta-ble, get it?)
#2617    
Thanks to: Rachel T. - Baton Rouge - Louisiana - USA.
rec.:Dec/29/2001    pub.:Jan/2/2002    sent:Aug/13/2014


Ranking: 3.21 / 121
Having shot a moose two Antartians began dragging it by the tail to their pick-up.
On the way they were stopped by a game warden. "Let me see your hunting licenses boys," he said. When he saw that everything was in order he asked if he could give them some advice.
"Sure!" the hunters agreed.
"Well boys, I think that you would find it a lot easier to drag that moose by the horns and not the tail."
"Aye, O.K. and thanks," said the lads.
After about five minutes one said to the other, "Boy, dragging by the horns is sure a lot easier, eh?"
"Aye, you're right," said his friend, "but have you noticed that we are getting further away from the truck?"
#6411    
Thanks to: Tom Reilly - Cambridge - Ont. - Canada
rec.:Oct/30/2002    pub.:Feb/7/2003    sent:Dec/21/2013


Ranking: 3.04 / 157
“Doctor, you told me I have a month to live and then you sent me a bill for
$1,000! I can’t pay that before the end of the month!”
“Okay, you have six months to live.”

#11399    
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Oct/21/2003    pub.:Oct/21/2003    sent:Mar/30/2013


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