Category: Miscellaneous Jokes

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Ranking: 2.99 / 170
Q: What do you call a midget fortuneteller on the run from the law?
A: A small medium at large.
#17242    
Thanks to: nomad - murrieta - ca. - Sudan
rec.:Sep/23/2006    pub.:Oct/16/2006    sent:Nov/3/2013


Ranking: 3.11 / 136
A man takes his place in the theater, but his seat is too far from the stage.
He whispers to the usher, "This is a mystery, and I have to watch a mystery close up. Get me a better seat, and I'll give you a handsome tip."
The usher moves him into the second row, and the man hands the usher a quarter.
The usher looks at the quarter, leans over and whispers, "The wife did it."
#14295    
Thanks to: Minie me - Sunyy coast - QLD - Australia
rec.:Dec/9/2004    pub.:Dec/15/2004    sent:Aug/3/2015


Ranking: 3.19 / 119
Bubba and Billy were driving down the road while drinking beer when they spotted a roadblock ahead. "We're gonna get busted," whimpered Billy. "Don't worry," said Bubba. "We'll just pull over and finish drinkin' these beers, then peel off the label and stick it on our foreheads and then toss the bottles under the seat. Just let me do the talking." They downed the beer, threw the empties out of sight and put the labels on their foreheads. When they reached the roadblock, the police officer asked, "You boys been drinking?" "No, sir," said Bubba, pointing at the labels. "Me and Billy are on the patch."
#17747    
Thanks to: Dennis Varner - Spartanburg - South Carolina - USA.
rec.:Feb/25/2007    pub.:Mar/21/2007    sent:May/16/2012


Ranking: 3.11 / 135
The driving instructor was giving lessons to an extremely nervous student who panicked whenever another car approached on a particular two-lane road. One day, however, they got to the same stretch of road; and the student remained completely calm.
“This time you’re doing fine!” exclaimed the instructor. “Yes,” the novice driver agreed.
“Now when I see another car coming, I shut my eyes.”
#16828    
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:May/15/2006    pub.:May/15/2006    sent:Feb/24/2013


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