Category: Miscellaneous Jokes

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Ranking: 3.19 / 119
Bubba and Billy were driving down the road while drinking beer when they spotted a roadblock ahead. "We're gonna get busted," whimpered Billy. "Don't worry," said Bubba. "We'll just pull over and finish drinkin' these beers, then peel off the label and stick it on our foreheads and then toss the bottles under the seat. Just let me do the talking." They downed the beer, threw the empties out of sight and put the labels on their foreheads. When they reached the roadblock, the police officer asked, "You boys been drinking?" "No, sir," said Bubba, pointing at the labels. "Me and Billy are on the patch."
#17747    
Thanks to: Dennis Varner - Spartanburg - South Carolina - USA.
rec.:Feb/25/2007    pub.:Mar/21/2007    sent:May/16/2012


Ranking: 3.11 / 135
The driving instructor was giving lessons to an extremely nervous student who panicked whenever another car approached on a particular two-lane road. One day, however, they got to the same stretch of road; and the student remained completely calm.
“This time you’re doing fine!” exclaimed the instructor. “Yes,” the novice driver agreed.
“Now when I see another car coming, I shut my eyes.”
#16828    
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:May/15/2006    pub.:May/15/2006    sent:Feb/24/2013


Ranking: 3.48 / 80
There is a knock on the pearly gates. Saint Peter looks out, and a man is standing there. Saint Peter is about to begin his interview when the man disappears. A moment later there’s another knock. Saint Peter gets the door, sees the man, opens his mouth to speak, but the man disappears once again. “Hey, are you playing games with me?” Saint Peter calls after him, rather annoyed.
“No” the man’s distant voice replies anxiously.
“They are trying to resuscitate me.”
#16807    
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:May/10/2006    pub.:May/10/2006    sent:May/3/2015


Ranking: 3.10 / 135
A guest in a posh hotel comes down to breakfast and called over the head waiter and read from the menu “I’d like one under cooked egg so that it’s running, and one over cooked egg that it’s tough and hard to eat. I’d also like grilled bacon which is a bit on the cold side, burnt toast, butter straight from the freezer so that it’s impossible to spread, and a pot of very weak, lukewarm coffee.” that’s a complicated order sir, said the bewildered waiter. “It might be quite difficult.” The guest replied sarcastically, “It can’t be that difficult because that’s exactly what you brought me yesterday!”
#18236    
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Jul/27/2007    pub.:Jul/27/2007    sent:Jun/4/2015


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