Category: Miscellaneous Jokes

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Ranking: 3.11 / 135
The driving instructor was giving lessons to an extremely nervous student who panicked whenever another car approached on a particular two-lane road. One day, however, they got to the same stretch of road; and the student remained completely calm.
“This time you’re doing fine!” exclaimed the instructor. “Yes,” the novice driver agreed.
“Now when I see another car coming, I shut my eyes.”
#16828    
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:May/15/2006    pub.:May/15/2006    sent:Feb/24/2013


Ranking: 3.48 / 80
There is a knock on the pearly gates. Saint Peter looks out, and a man is standing there. Saint Peter is about to begin his interview when the man disappears. A moment later there’s another knock. Saint Peter gets the door, sees the man, opens his mouth to speak, but the man disappears once again. “Hey, are you playing games with me?” Saint Peter calls after him, rather annoyed.
“No” the man’s distant voice replies anxiously.
“They are trying to resuscitate me.”
#16807    
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:May/10/2006    pub.:May/10/2006    sent:May/3/2015


Ranking: 3.36 / 91
Never say anything bad about a man until you have walked a mile in his shoes. By then he’s a mile away, you have got his shoes, and your can say whatever you want to.
#12169    
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Dec/9/2003    pub.:Dec/9/2003    sent:Nov/2/2010


Ranking: 3.33 / 93
A patron at a restaurant was continually bothering the waiter about the air conditioning: first he would ask for the air conditioning to be turned up because it was too hot, then he would ask it be turned down because it was to cold, this went on for about a half an hour. To the surprise of the rest of the customers, the waiter was very patient, walking aback and forth and very pleasant. So finally a customer asked; why don’t you just throw out the pest? “Oh, I don’t care,” said the waiter with a grin, we don’t even have an air conditioner.”
#18879    
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Feb/26/2008    pub.:Feb/26/2008    sent:Dec/6/2012


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