Category: Miscellaneous Jokes

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Ranking: 3.54 / 70
An engineer, a mathematician, and a physicist were standing around the university flagpole when an English professor wandered by. “What are you doing?” he asked. “We need to know the height of the flagpole,” said one, “and we’re discussing the formulas we might use to calculate it.” “Watch!” said the English professor. He pulled the pole from its fitting, laid it on the grass, borrowed a tape measure and said, “Exactly 24 feet.” Then he replaced the pole and walked away. “English professor!” sneer the mathematician, “We ask him for the height, and he gives us the length.”
#21139    
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:May/13/2010    pub.:May/13/2010    sent:Aug/8/2015


Ranking: 3.10 / 127
Q: What is the difference between in-laws and out-laws?
A: Out-laws are wanted.
#6501    
Thanks to: Anonymous
rec.:Nov/5/2002    pub.:Feb/7/2003    sent:Apr/19/2009


Ranking: 2.92 / 168
While Mark was shopping for pet supplies, one of the salespeople came running up to him. “Mark! Mark! I just saw someone driving off with your BMW!”
“Dear God! Did your try to stop him?” “No,” said the clerk, “but don’t worry. I got the license plate number!”
#10807    
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Aug/18/2003    pub.:Aug/18/2003    sent:Mar/7/2013


Ranking: 2.92 / 168
A young man just had his first customer, which turned out to be a BIG BURLY truck driver. The young man walked up to the table where the truck driver was sitting and asked; can I take your order sir? The truck driver replied, sure kid I want three flat tires and two headlights. The young man was very puzzled and said, I beg your pardon? The truck driver said again, look kid; I want three flat tires and two headlights. The young man was still puzzled, but replied; yes sir, whatever. The young man then took the request to his boss who was the head cook. He told him about the truck driver's order, and that he wanted three flat tires and two headlights, “I think he's in the wrong place.” The head cook said, I know what he wants, he wants three flap jacks and two eggs sunny side up; the truck driver is just trying to be smart, I know him. The cook said to the waiter here, take this bowl of beans, give it to him and say this. The truck driver said, Listen kid, I didn't order this; I said I wanted three flat tires and two headlights. The waiter replied, Well sir, the head cook said while you wait for your parts, you can gas up!
#6102    
Thanks to: Richard H. Chamberlin - Rancho Cucamonga - Ca. - USA.
rec.:Oct/3/2002    pub.:Dec/25/2002    sent:Mar/8/2015


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