Ranking: 3.11 / 54
Q: What do you get when you rewind a country song?
A: You get your house back, your truck back, your wife back and your dog back!
Thanks to: Becky Kelly - portland - or - USA.
rec.:Jun/12/2005 pub.:Jun/21/2005 sent:Jan/27/2006
Ranking: 3.63 / 30
A truck driver was sitting down in a small roadside diner, minding his own business, and having a plate of spaghetti and a beer. Before long, about 30 of the nastiest, meanest looking bikers come roaring in to the parking lot and boisterously enter the diner -- taking over the tiny place. The macho leader notices the trucker in the corner and goes over to "mark the territory." He starts giving the trucker hard time, but the trucker is not to be provoked. Soon the leader is frustrated by the trucker's lack of response and he dumps the trucker's spaghetti plate right on his head. The trucker is covered with noodles and sauce is dripping down his face. He tells the leader he doesn't want any trouble and cleans away the mess with a towel provided by the proprietor. The leader is not done with his provocation -- he tells the trucker he's a lily-livered sissy and dumps the trucker's beer right in his lap. The trucker shoots to his feet -- the room is silent. The bikers think they're finally gonna see some action -- but the trucker just saunters over to the cash register, settles the check and strides out the door. A minute or two pass and the leader decides to have the last word, "THAT GUY SURE ISN'T MUCH OF A MAN!" About 10 seconds of silence follow-- THE SILENCE IS SHATTERED BY THE SOUND OF MANGLED METAL AND THE WORDS OF THE DINER PROPRIETOR..."AND HE SURE ISN'T MUCH OF A DRIVER EITHER. LOOKS LIKE HE JUST RAN OVER MOST OF THOSE HARLEYS IN THE PARKING LOT!"
Thanks to: Steve - Los Angeles - CA - USA.
rec.:Feb/10/1999 pub.:Feb/10/1999 sent:Feb/10/1999
Ranking: 3.32 / 41
This man was talking to himself. "I wish I could meet some really important people before I die...."
A man walked up to him and said, "Hi, my name is Mike and I overheard you. I can help you because I know everybody on the planet who is alive today."
"No way, you must be pulling my leg. Let's go to Jane Hull so you can prove it to me," said the man.
So they go to Jane Hull's office, and when she notices Mike, they start to talk about how they were in kindergarten together.
"Okay, it could have been a coincidence that you were in kindergarten together. Let's go talk to the president!" said the man. So they took a jet to the White House where the President was having a press conference. When the President saw Mike, they started to talk about how they were in band together.
"Okay for your last test, let's go to the Pope!" said the man. So they took a jet to Rome and when they got there they went to a church were the Pope was giving a sermon. After the sermon, Mike walked up to the Pope and they shook hands and started to talk.
When Mike walked back over to the man, the man said, "You know, I had a hard time believing you even after the Pope until a guy came up to me and said, "Hey who is that standing next to Mike?!"
Thanks to: Jacob Lee Nelson - Tucson - AZ - USA.
rec.:Dec/10/1999 pub.:Dec/10/1999 sent:Dec/10/1999
Ranking: 3.07 / 55
A man at a restaurant asks the waiter, “How do you prepare your chickens?
The waiter replies, “Nothing special. We just tell’em they’re gonna die.”
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Oct/29/2003 pub.:Oct/29/2003 sent:Jul/10/2004