Category: Bar & Drinking Jokes



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Ranking: 2.82 / 194
A guy walks into a bar, sits at the counter and said "Drinks, everybody on me, even you bar tender" on my tab. Every one got a drink and thanked the man. After a while he man said "Drinks, everybody on me, even you bar tender. Put it on my tab." Everybody got their drinks and thanked the man. The bar tender pulled the man to the side and asked him "You know this is going to be a lot of money, can you pay for this? The man said "No". The bar tender took the man in the back, beat him up, and threw him out the back door. The man brushed himself off, and went back into the bar. He sat down and said "Drinks, everybody, on me. Except for you bartender, you don't know how to act when you get drunk
#4480    
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:May/10/2002    pub.:Jul/6/2002    sent:Apr/30/2013


Ranking: 2.87 / 172
A drunken man walked up to a parking meter and puts in some change. The meter goes up to sixty and he says, "Hey, I lost 100 pounds!"
#10002    
Thanks to: Jodi - USA.
rec.:Jun/5/2003    pub.:Jul/10/2003    sent:Feb/13/2013


Ranking: 3.16 / 99
An obnoxious drunk stumbles into the front door of a bar and orders a drink, the bartender says, "No way buddy you're too drunk."
A few minutes later the drunk comes in through the bathrooms, again he slurs, "give me a drink", bartender says "No man I told you last time you're too drunk"
Five minutes later the guy comes in through the back door and orders a drink, again the bartender says, "You're too drunk"
The drunk scratches his head and says "Damn I must be... the last two places said the same thing."
#733    
Thanks to: Samantha
rec.:Aug/3/2000    pub.:Aug/3/2000    sent:Feb/2/2013


Ranking: 3.59 / 54
A guy was meeting a friend in a bar, and as he walked in he noticed two pretty girls looking at him. He heard one girl say to the other; “Nine.” Feeling pleased with himself, he swaggered over to his buddy at the bar and told him that the girl in the corner had just rated him a nine out of ten. “Sorry to spoil your evening,” said his friend, “but when I walked in they were speaking German”
#23680    
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Sep/27/2013    pub.:Sep/27/2013    sent:Feb/12/2014


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