Category: Bar & Drinking Jokes

Sitting at the bar, sad Rob told the bartender that he was drinking to forget the heartbreak of his broken engagement. “Yeah,” said Rob, “would you marry someone who didn’t know the meaning of the word faithful, and who was flip and even vicious when the subject of fidelity came up?” “ No way in hell” said the bartender.
“Well, said Rob, “neither would my fiancée.”

A drunk was walking down the sidewalk with a limp. A man coming in the opposite direction notice that he only had one shoe on. The man said to the drunk, "hey buddy, what's the matter, lose a shoe"? The drunk replied, "Nah, found one".

At a bar Tom said to Bill; “Uncle tried to make a new kind of car. He took wheels from a Cadillac, radiator from a Lexus, tires from a Ford”
“What did he get? Asked Bill
“Two years.” Said Tom

Steve lived in Stated Island, NY and worked in Manhattan. He had to take the ferry home every night. One evening, he got sown to the ferry and found there was a wait for the next boat, so Steve decided to stop at a nearby tavern. Before long he was felling no pain. When he got back to the ferry slip, the ferryboat was just eight feet from the dock.
Steve. Afraid of missing this one and being late for dinner, took a running leap and landed right on the deck of the boat. “How did you like that jump, buddy?” said a proud Steve to a deck hand. “It was great,” said the sailor. “But why didn’t you wait? We were just pulling in!”