Category: Bar & Drinking Jokes

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Ranking: 3.07 / 68
A drunk was walking down the sidewalk with a limp. A man coming in the opposite direction notice that he only had one shoe on. The man said to the drunk, "hey buddy, what's the matter, lose a shoe"? The drunk replied, "Nah, found one".
#20590    
Thanks to: Russ Kindred - Eugene - Oregon - USA.
rec.:Nov/12/2009    pub.:Nov/30/2009    sent:Aug/18/2010


Ranking: 2.81 / 97
A ghost walks into a bar at midnight, and asks the bartender for a Whisky.
The bartender says " Sorry we don't serve spirits after 11"
#3430    
Thanks to: Rachel - United Kingdom
rec.:Feb/24/2002    pub.:Mar/9/2002    sent:Dec/22/2007


Ranking: 2.72 / 113
Steve lived in Stated Island, NY and worked in Manhattan. He had to take the ferry home every night. One evening, he got sown to the ferry and found there was a wait for the next boat, so Steve decided to stop at a nearby tavern. Before long he was felling no pain. When he got back to the ferry slip, the ferryboat was just eight feet from the dock.
Steve. Afraid of missing this one and being late for dinner, took a running leap and landed right on the deck of the boat. “How did you like that jump, buddy?” said a proud Steve to a deck hand. “It was great,” said the sailor. “But why didn’t you wait? We were just pulling in!”
#21938    
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Apr/26/2011    pub.:Apr/26/2011    sent:Aug/13/2011


Ranking: 3.30 / 47
A drunk walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Hey bartender. If I show you a trick will you give me a free drink?" The bartender says "sure" and the drunk pulls a frog out of his pocket and sets it down on the table. The frog then plays the best jazz the bartender heard in years and he gives the drunk his free drink. The drunk says " hey bartender. If I show you another trick will you give me another free drink?" The bartender says "If it's anything like the trick you just showed me, you can drink the rest of the night for free." So the drunk pulls a rat out of his pocket and the rat starts singing. The bartender starts pouring drinks for the drunk as fast as the drunk could drink them. Two hours later, an agent walks into a bar and sees the frog and the rat. He walks up to the bartender and says "That's the greatest act I've seen in years. Who owns that act?" The bartender points to the drunk who's passed out on the floor and says "He does." The agent wakes the drunk and says" That's the greatest act I’ve seen in years. I'll give you $100,000 for that act." The drunk says "There not for sale." "Ok," the agent says "then I'll give you $50,000 for the singing rat." "It's a deal" the drunk says so the agent gives him the money and leaves with the rat. "I can't believe you! You had a million dollar rat there you just passed it up for a measly 50 grand" The bartender yells. "Relax," said the drunk, "The frogs a ventriloquist."
#1081    
Thanks to: Matt Stefanski - Highlands Ranch - Colorado - USA.
rec.:Jul/8/2001    pub.:Jul/8/2001    sent:Jul/8/2001


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