Category: Bar & Drinking Jokes

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Ranking: 2.69 / 102
A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender laughs and says, "Hey, we have a drink named after you!" The grasshopper looks at the bartender, with a look of extreme confusion on his face, and says, "You have a drink called Steve?"
Thanks to: Sami - Augusta - Georgia - USA.
rec.:Jun/9/2002    pub.:Aug/24/2002

Ranking: 2.50 / 142
A woman was sleeping in her bed when her husband crashing through the front door at 3 am waked her up. He staggered and tried to get up the stairs, " what are you doing" she shouted, the husband replies " I’m trying to get a gallon of beer up the stairs" "leave it down there" she bellowed "I cant" he replied " I’ve drunk it".
Thanks to: chappy - londonderry - ulster - Ireland
rec.:Sep/17/2003    pub.:Sep/18/2003    sent:Oct/3/2008

Ranking: 2.56 / 118
In a greasy spoon, a downhearted diner asked the waitress for meatloaf and some kind words. She brought the meatloaf but didn’t say a thing. “Hey,” he said, “what about my kind word?”
She replied, “Don’t eat the meatloaf.”
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Nov/24/2002    pub.:Nov/24/2002    sent:Oct/8/2008

Ranking: 2.87 / 68
A man is in a pawnshop and sees this beautiful Grandfather Clock and winds up buying it. He asks the owner if he can deliver the clock and the owner replies that he cannot make deliveries. So only living a few blocks away the man decides to strap the clock on his back and carry it the few blocks. After a block or so, a drunk comes staggering out of a bar and bumps into the man knocking him down on his back and smashing the clock to bits. He then jumps up and starts cussing the drunk out and saying "look what you did to my beautiful clock you idiot” The drunk then replies, gee buddy I’m really sorry why don’t you wear a wristwatch like everyone else.
Thanks to: John Mecca - Dunmore - Pa. - Vatican City State (Holy See)
rec.:Apr/8/2002    pub.:Jun/22/2002

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