Category: Bar & Drinking Jokes

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Ranking: 2.93 / 70
A man is in a pawnshop and sees this beautiful Grandfather Clock and winds up buying it. He asks the owner if he can deliver the clock and the owner replies that he cannot make deliveries. So only living a few blocks away the man decides to strap the clock on his back and carry it the few blocks. After a block or so, a drunk comes staggering out of a bar and bumps into the man knocking him down on his back and smashing the clock to bits. He then jumps up and starts cussing the drunk out and saying "look what you did to my beautiful clock you idiot” The drunk then replies, gee buddy I’m really sorry why don’t you wear a wristwatch like everyone else.
Thanks to: John Mecca - Dunmore - Pa. - Vatican City State (Holy See)
rec.:Apr/8/2002    pub.:Jun/22/2002

Ranking: 2.76 / 84
Two drunks were walking down the railroad tracks. After a couple of miles, one of them says, "Man, all these steps are killing me!" The other drunk replies, "It's not all these steps; it's these darned low handrails!"
Thanks to: LKD
rec.:Oct/21/1998    pub.:Oct/21/1998    sent:Dec/21/2007

Ranking: 2.92 / 62
One friend to another: Did you know that the shortest sentence in the English language is
“I am.”
Really. What’s the longest sentence?
“I do.”
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Oct/7/2003    pub.:Oct/7/2003    sent:Jan/17/2004

Ranking: 2.58 / 106
A man comes home after an assignment of 3-years and he finds, there is an additional member of the family, a 29 months toddler. Furious he demands an explanation:
He says, how could you have done this to me! Did you cheat on me with one of my friends, was it Josh, was it Nathan, or was it John?
His wife with a daring look says, your friends! Your friends! Don’t you think I have my own friends too?

Thanks to: angel - davao - Philippines
rec.:Jan/11/2002    pub.:Jan/20/2002

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