Category: Bar & Drinking Jokes

A man goes into a bar and orders double bourbon. He takes a sip of the drink and says to the bartender: "I shouldn’t be drinking this with what I’ve got." The bartender says: "What have you got".

The man replies: "30 cents".

Why do black widow spiders kill the males after mating?
To stop the snoring before it starts.

A policeman finds someone crawling on all fours in the middle of the street. The cop approaches him and asks him, "What on earth do you think you’re doing?" The man on the floor replies, “I’ve lost it." The policeman asks him curiously, "lost what?" The man on the floor answers, "well (hiccup) my balance sir."

A small piece of rope climbed onto a barstool. The bartender said he did not serve rope in his bar, and tossed it out to the street. The rope asked a passerby to tie him into a knot, and then ruffle both ends. The rope went back into the bar, the bartender looked down at him and said, "Hey aren’t you that same piece of rope I just tossed out?" the rope responded: no sir “I am a frayed knot.”