Category: Bar & Drinking Jokes

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Ranking: 2.66 / 50
A set of jumper cables goes into a bar. The bartender sees them and asks, "Hey, what are you doing in here?" "Just want to have a drink and relax awhile," was the reply. "Well, all right. Just don't start anything!"
Thanks to: Angel  
rec.:Jun/22/1998    pub.:Jun/22/1998    sent:Jun/22/1998

Ranking: 2.52 / 62
A man was explaining to a friend how he managed to get home the previous night.
" I was doing just fine until I turned into my driveway", he said.
"And then what happened?"
"Someone stepped on my hands!"
Thanks to: Jack Lange - Winnipeg - Manitoba - Canada
rec.:Jul/13/2003    pub.:Aug/19/2003    sent:Nov/16/2003

Ranking: 2.52 / 61
Dr. Burns was disgusted when Frank staggered into his office thoroughly inebriated.
He looked at him severely. “What happened, Frank? I thought we were going to lick this problem by cutting you down to just two drinks a day.” Frank dragged a finger across his chest. “Cross my heart, doc, I—I did as you asked.”
“Impossible. If you had, you wouldn’t be in this shape.”
“No, honestly!” Frank replied. “In fact, when I left here the other day. I went to another doctor for a second opinion – and he prescribed the same thing!”
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Aug/5/2003    pub.:Aug/5/2003    sent:Aug/27/2003

Ranking: 2.36 / 81
An inebriated man and his drunken friend were sitting at a bar.
“Do you know what time it is?” Asked the drunk.
“Sure,” said the man
“Thanks,” said the drunk.
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Aug/11/2008    pub.:Aug/11/2008    sent:Nov/28/2009

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