Category: Bar & Drinking Jokes



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Ranking: 2.56 / 48
Why doesn’t psychotherapy work on men?
“They don’t have to go back to their childhood.”
#12230    
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Dec/11/2003    pub.:Dec/11/2003    sent:Aug/24/2004


Ranking: 2.59 / 46
A guy goes into a bar and orders seven shots of tequila and one beer chaser.
The bartender lines up seven shots and goes to get the beer.
When he comes back with the beer only moments later, all seven shots were gone.
The bartender says, "Wow! You sure drank those fast."
The guy explains, :You'd drink fast too if you had what I have."
The bartender asks, "What do you have?"
The guy reaches into his pocket and says, "Fifty cents!"
#166    
Thanks to: Gerry Frost
rec.:Oct/31/1998    pub.:Oct/31/1998    sent:Oct/31/1998


Ranking: 2.66 / 41
A doctor made it his regular habit to stop off at a bar for a hazelnut daiquiri on his way home. The bartender knew of his habit, and would always have the drink waiting at precisely 5:03 p.m. One afternoon, as the end of the work day approached, the bartender was dismayed to find that he was out of hazelnut extract. Thinking quickly, he threw together a daiquiri made with hickory nuts and set it on the bar. The doctor came in at his regular time, took one sip of the drink and exclaimed, "This isn't a hazelnut daiquiri!" "No, I'm sorry, "replied the bartender, "it's a hickory daiquiri, Doc."
#293    
Thanks to: Charlene Repsis
rec.:Apr/6/1999    pub.:Apr/6/1999    sent:Apr/6/1999


Ranking: 2.48 / 52
Guy going home from the pub is stopped at a police checkpoint. A bobby comes over and tells the driver to roll down his window. When he does, the copper is almost knocked over with the smell of alcohol. So he asks: "Have you been drinking, suuur?" (as English cops are wont to say). "Yes", replies the driver. "What did you have exactly, suuuur"? "Well, about seven or eight pints of Guinness, a couple of whiskies, and then one or two night caps in the form of double brandies". The copper pulls out his breathalyzer and says, "Would you mind blowing into this, suuur"? To which the drunk dude retorts: "What for? Do you not believe me?"
#14268    
Thanks to: Paul - Italy
rec.:Dec/3/2004    pub.:Dec/15/2004    sent:Jun/13/2005


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