Category: Bar & Drinking Jokes



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Ranking: 2.93 / 30
A man was at the bar and asked for a shot and so the bartender gave him the drink the man drank it then looked in his pocket. Then the man asked for another so the bartender again gave it to him then after he took the drink the man looked in his pocket. The man asked for another drink and did the same thing. Then the bartender asked the man why he kept looking in his pocket, and the man said there is a picture of my wife in there and when she starts looking good that’s when I will go home.
#1003    
Thanks to: Mandi - Inver Grove Heights - MN
rec.:Apr/18/2001    pub.:Apr/18/2001    sent:Apr/18/2001


Ranking: 2.67 / 42
A man in a bar is enjoying his drink when he hears a voice say, "You look great!" He looks around, but there is nobody near him. He hears the voice again: "No, really, you look just terrific!" Again he looks around. Nobody. A few minutes pass, and again he hears the voice: "Is that a new shirt or something? Because you look absolutely stunning!" At this point the man realizes that the voice is coming from a dish of nuts on the bar. "Hey," the man calls to the bartender, "What's with these nuts?" "Oh," the bartender answers, "they're complimentary."
#47    
Thanks to: Marlene - Illinois - USA.
rec.:May/8/1998    pub.:May/8/1998    sent:May/8/1998


Ranking: 2.72 / 39
Two drunks were staggering home along a railway line. “This is the longest staircase I’ve ever climbed, moaned one.
“It certainly is,” slurred his body. “And the banister’s so low; my back’s killing me.”
#13395    
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:May/11/2004    pub.:May/11/2004    sent:May/8/2005


Ranking: 2.59 / 46
A guy goes into a bar and orders seven shots of tequila and one beer chaser.
The bartender lines up seven shots and goes to get the beer.
When he comes back with the beer only moments later, all seven shots were gone.
The bartender says, "Wow! You sure drank those fast."
The guy explains, :You'd drink fast too if you had what I have."
The bartender asks, "What do you have?"
The guy reaches into his pocket and says, "Fifty cents!"
#166    
Thanks to: Gerry Frost
rec.:Oct/31/1998    pub.:Oct/31/1998    sent:Oct/31/1998


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