Ranking: 2.70 / 37
Three strings walk into a bar and sit down at a table. The first string walks up to the bartender and says, "Bartender, three beers please." The bartender looks at the string and says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve strings here." Disappointed, the string walks back to his buddies and explains. The second string says "No problem, I'll go get our beers." The second string walks up to the bartender, "Bartender, three beers please." The bartender says, "Listen man, I told your buddy that we don't serve strings here." Empty handed, the second string walks back to his buddies. The third string says, "No problem. Tie me in a knot at one end and fray my ends at the other." He struts up to the bartender, "Bartender, three beers please." The bartender proceeds to get him the beer when he suspiciously turns to look at the string and says, "Excuse me, but are you a string?" The string replies, "I'm a frayed knot!"
Thanks to: Anonymous
rec.:Jan/6/2000 pub.:Jan/6/2000 sent:Jan/6/2000
Ranking: 2.61 / 41
A man in a bar is enjoying his drink when he hears a voice say, "You look great!" He looks around, but there is nobody near him. He hears the voice again: "No, really, you look just terrific!" Again he looks around. Nobody. A few minutes pass, and again he hears the voice: "Is that a new shirt or something? Because you look absolutely stunning!" At this point the man realizes that the voice is coming from a dish of nuts on the bar. "Hey," the man calls to the bartender, "What's with these nuts?" "Oh," the bartender answers, "they're complimentary."
Thanks to: Marlene - Illinois - USA.
rec.:May/8/1998 pub.:May/8/1998 sent:May/8/1998
Ranking: 2.53 / 45
A guy goes into a bar and orders seven shots of tequila and one beer chaser.
The bartender lines up seven shots and goes to get the beer.
When he comes back with the beer only moments later, all seven shots were gone.
The bartender says, "Wow! You sure drank those fast."
The guy explains, :You'd drink fast too if you had what I have."
The bartender asks, "What do you have?"
The guy reaches into his pocket and says, "Fifty cents!"
Thanks to: Gerry Frost
rec.:Oct/31/1998 pub.:Oct/31/1998 sent:Oct/31/1998
Ranking: 2.86 / 29
A man was at the bar and asked for a shot and so the bartender gave him the drink the man drank it then looked in his pocket. Then the man asked for another so the bartender again gave it to him then after he took the drink the man looked in his pocket. The man asked for another drink and did the same thing. Then the bartender asked the man why he kept looking in his pocket, and the man said there is a picture of my wife in there and when she starts looking good that’s when I will go home.
Thanks to: Mandi - Inver Grove Heights - MN
rec.:Apr/18/2001 pub.:Apr/18/2001 sent:Apr/18/2001