Category: Bar & Drinking Jokes



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Ranking: 2.05 / 111
A man walks into a bar with a Giraffe, and sits down at the bar. He says to the barman, "One pint for me and ten for the Giraffe". The barman gives the man and the Giraffe their drinks and then the Giraffe downs them all in on go. The Giraffe then says, "More"
The barman give the Giraffe ten more pint the same. The Giraffe does the same thing again, and downs them all at once. The Giraffe then collapses on the floor and the man gets up to walk out. The barman says, "you can't leave that 'lying' here", and the man says,” It’s not a Lyon, It's a Giraffe"!
#6633    
Thanks to: Miceton. - Middlesbrough - United Kingdom
rec.:Nov/14/2002    pub.:Mar/28/2003


Ranking: 2.66 / 38
Three strings walk into a bar and sit down at a table. The first string walks up to the bartender and says, "Bartender, three beers please." The bartender looks at the string and says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve strings here." Disappointed, the string walks back to his buddies and explains. The second string says "No problem, I'll go get our beers." The second string walks up to the bartender, "Bartender, three beers please." The bartender says, "Listen man, I told your buddy that we don't serve strings here." Empty handed, the second string walks back to his buddies. The third string says, "No problem. Tie me in a knot at one end and fray my ends at the other." He struts up to the bartender, "Bartender, three beers please." The bartender proceeds to get him the beer when he suspiciously turns to look at the string and says, "Excuse me, but are you a string?" The string replies, "I'm a frayed knot!" 
#548    
Thanks to: Anonymous
rec.:Jan/6/2000    pub.:Jan/6/2000    sent:Jan/6/2000


Ranking: 2.06 / 98
I see said the blind man to his deaf wife, over a disconnected telephone in a dark room, looking for a black cat that wasn't even there.
#11654    
Thanks to: robyn - castaic - california - USA.
rec.:Nov/7/2003    pub.:Dec/10/2003    sent:Jan/31/2004


Ranking: 2.51 / 43
This guy runs into a bar and asks the bartender for a glass of water. The bartender ignores him, and instead, pulls out a pistol, stating that they don't serve water. The guy, then says thanks a lot, and then leaves. The customers, baffled and confused, then asked the bartender why the guy had told him thanks. The bartender then replied, " Easy, he had the hiccups".
#1291    
Thanks to: anonymous - healy - alaska - USA.
rec.:Aug/26/2001    pub.:Sep/5/2001


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