A guy walks into a bar. He says to the bartender "I'd like a Whiskey Sour." The bartender replies "How do you make that?" The guy says "You put in whiskey to make it strong, water to make it weak, lemon to make it sour and sugar to make it sweat. You mix it all together and you say 'Here's to you' and then you drink it yourself." The bartender says "That's not a drink! That's a contradiction!"
Robby Sirngiff - Omaha - NE - USA.
rec.:Feb/27/2011 pub.:Mar/10/2011 sent:Jul/15/2011
2.36 / 47
Overheard at the track: “Horse racing is very romantic. The horse hugs the rail, the jockey puts his arms around the horse, and you kiss your money good-by.”
Anonymous - USA.
2.26 / 53
Approaching the woman at a single’s bar, the young man said, “Hi cookie. How about a date?”
“Forget it,” she said. “I never go out with a perfect stranger.”
“We are both in luck,” he said. I’m far from perfect.”
Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Jul/1/2003 pub.:Jul/1/2003 sent:Aug/20/2003
2.36 / 45
A bear walks into a bar and orders a beer.
The barman says, "Sorry, but we don't serve beers to bears in this bar."
The bear bangs on the bar. The barman says, "Sorry, but we don't serve beers to bears in this bar, especially not bears who bang on bars."
The bear grabs a passing barmaid and bashes her. The barman says, "Sorry, but we don't serve beer to bears in this bar, especially not bears that bang on bars and bash barmaids."
The bear bellows at the other barman to bring him a beer. The barman says, "Sorry, but we don't serve beer to bears, especially bears that bang on bars, bash barmaids and bellow at barmen."
In exasperation the bear bites the bar. The barman says, "Sorry, but we don't serve bears that are on drugs."
"On drugs?" the bear says. The barman says, "Yes. I saw that bar-bit-u-ate."
Carmen TIKES - Tunbridge Wells - Kent - United Kingdom
rec.:Dec/24/1998 pub.:Dec/24/1998 sent:Dec/24/1998