Category: Bar & Drinking Jokes



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Ranking: 2.30 / 44
A bear walks into a bar and orders a beer.
The barman says, "Sorry, but we don't serve beers to bears in this bar."
The bear bangs on the bar. The barman says, "Sorry, but we don't serve beers to bears in this bar, especially not bears who bang on bars."
The bear grabs a passing barmaid and bashes her. The barman says, "Sorry, but we don't serve beer to bears in this bar, especially not bears that bang on bars and bash barmaids."
The bear bellows at the other barman to bring him a beer. The barman says, "Sorry, but we don't serve beer to bears, especially bears that bang on bars, bash barmaids and bellow at barmen."
In exasperation the bear bites the bar. The barman says, "Sorry, but we don't serve bears that are on drugs."
"On drugs?" the bear says. The barman says, "Yes. I saw that bar-bit-u-ate."
#209    
Thanks to: Carmen TIKES - Tunbridge Wells - Kent - United Kingdom
rec.:Dec/24/1998    pub.:Dec/24/1998    sent:Dec/24/1998


Ranking: 2.35 / 40
A grasshopper hops into a bar and the bartender looks at him and says, "HEY! We have a drink named after you!"
The grasshopper looks at the bartender and says, "You have a drink named Harry?"
#239    
Thanks to: Rick
rec.:Jan/25/1999    pub.:Jan/25/1999    sent:Jan/25/1999


Ranking: 2.31 / 42
A five-dollar bill walks into a bar.
Bartender says, "Get outta here! We don't serve your type. This is a singles bar."
#268    
Thanks to: Sandy in Elgin
rec.:Mar/2/1999    pub.:Mar/2/1999    sent:Mar/2/1999


Ranking: 2.24 / 45
Overheard at the track: “Horse racing is very romantic. The horse hugs the rail, the jockey puts his arms around the horse, and you kiss your money good-by.”
#5431    
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Jul/20/2002    pub.:Jul/20/2002


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