Category: Bar & Drinking Jokes



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Ranking: 2.37 / 43
A five-dollar bill walks into a bar.
Bartender says, "Get outta here! We don't serve your type. This is a singles bar."
#268    
Thanks to: Sandy in Elgin
rec.:Mar/2/1999    pub.:Mar/2/1999    sent:Mar/2/1999


Ranking: 2.30 / 46
Overheard at the track: “Horse racing is very romantic. The horse hugs the rail, the jockey puts his arms around the horse, and you kiss your money good-by.”
#5431    
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Jul/20/2002    pub.:Jul/20/2002


Ranking: 2.46 / 35
A man went up to the barman and ordered a drink. With his drink, the barman gave him a bowl of peanuts, and from the bowl of peanuts the man heard a voice say, "I think you look great." But the man just ignored it. Then the man went over to the cigarette machine, put his money in and got nothing out. He heard a voice from the machine say, "I have never seen such an ugly face." At this point, the man was confused, so he told the barman about the voices, and the barman said, "The bowl of peanuts was complimentary, but the cigarette machine is just out of order."
#529    
Thanks to: Neil - London - Kent - United Kingdom
rec.:Dec/16/1999    pub.:Dec/16/1999    sent:Dec/16/1999


Ranking: 2.35 / 40
A grasshopper hops into a bar and the bartender looks at him and says, "HEY! We have a drink named after you!"
The grasshopper looks at the bartender and says, "You have a drink named Harry?"
#239    
Thanks to: Rick
rec.:Jan/25/1999    pub.:Jan/25/1999    sent:Jan/25/1999


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