Ranking: 3.35 / 119
After a long day a sailor enters a bar, and noticed a pirate sitting at the bar. The pirate has a peg leg, a hook for a hand, and an eye patch. So the sailor walks over to the pirate and says, “May I ask how you lost your leg?" The pirate replied,"Arrrrr one stormy night on me ship I fell overboard, and a shark swam up to me and bit off me leg." The sailor says,"That's to bad, but how did you lose your hand?" The pirate resplied,"Arrrrr one day at sea me and my crew were battling an enemy and we were using swords so one of those B**t**ds cut off me hand." "How did you lose your eye? Asked the sailor. "Well, one summer day I was looking at the clouds, and a seagull came and pooped in me eye." Said the pirate. "You lost your eye because a seagull pooped in it? “Said the sailor. " No, you see it was the first day with the hook! “Said the pirate.
Thanks to: Andrew - Lafayette - Indiana - USA.
rec.:May/28/2002 pub.:Aug/4/2002 sent:May/19/2003
Ranking: 3.25 / 136
10 reasons why beer should be served at work
1. It's an incentive to show up.
2. It leads to more honest communications.
3. It reduces complaints about low pay.
4. Employees tell management what they think, not what management wants to hear.
5. Increase job satisfaction because if you have a bad job, you don't care.
6. It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work.
7. Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they are wasted.
8. Employees work later since there's no longer a need to relax at the bar.
9. Employees no longer need coffee to sober up.
10. Sitting on the copy machine will no longer be seen as "gross."
Thanks to: Dan Swihart - USA.
rec.:Jul/29/2000 pub.:Jul/29/2000 sent:Dec/2/2002
Ranking: 3.38 / 109
Three Irishmen, Paddy, Sean and Seamus, were stumbling home from the pub late one night and found themselves on the road which led past the old graveyard.
"Come have a look over here," says Paddy, "It's Michael O'Grady's grave, and God bless his soul. He lived to the ripe old age of 87."
"That's nothing," says Sean, "here's one named Patrick O'Tool, it says here that he was 95 when he died." Just then, Seamus yells out, "Hey, here's a fella that got to be 145!"
"What was his name?" asks Paddy. Seamus stumbles around a bit, awkwardly lights a match to see what else is written on the stone marker, and exclaims, "Miles, from Dublin."
Thanks to: Jim Bell - Sunnyvale - CA - USA.
rec.:Nov/14/2007 pub.:Nov/23/2007 sent:Dec/13/2007
Ranking: 3.41 / 97
The fellow walked into a bar he had never been in before and ordered a drink. He then asked the bartender if he enjoyed dumb-jock jokes. The beefy attendant leaned over the bar and fixed a withering glare on his customer. "Listen, buddy," he growled. "See those two big guys on the left? They're professional football players. And that huge fellow on your right is a world-class wrestler. That guy in the corner is a champion weight-lifter. And I lettered in three sports at Notre Dame. Now," he continued, "are you absolutely positive you want to go ahead and tell your dumb-jock joke here?" "Nah, I guess not," the man replied. "I wouldn't want to have to explain it five times."
Thanks to: Larry Dixon
rec.:Apr/15/1998 pub.:Apr/15/1998 sent:Jun/23/2008