Category: Bar & Drinking Jokes



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Ranking: 3.22 / 123
A drunk and a preacher were driving up a mountainside in different vehicles. The drunk was swerving from side to side; the preacher was driving straight and true. All of a sudden, the preacher lost control and drove off the edge of a cliff. The drunk noticed the preacher going off the edge, so he stopped his car and went to see if he was all right. He noticed the preacher was climbing up the hillside. He yelled down at the preacher, "Are you alright?" And the preacher replied, "Have no fear my son, I had the Lord riding with me." The drunk then yelled back, "You had better let him ride with me next time, cuz your gonna get him killed!"

#16492    
Thanks to: Jerry - USA.
rec.:Feb/22/2006    pub.:Apr/4/2006    sent:Aug/8/2009


Ranking: 3.15 / 135
A circus owner walked into a bar to see everyone crowded around a table watching a little show. On the table was an upside down pot and a duck tap dancing on it. The circus owner was so impressed that he offered to buy the duck from its owner. After some wheeling and dealing they settled for $10,000 for the duck and the pot.
Three days later the circus owner runs back to the bar in anger, "Your duck is a rip-off! I put him on the pot before a whole audience and he didn't dance a single step!" "So?" asked the duck's former owner, "did you remember to light the candle under the pot?"
#1061    
Thanks to: Ganiyat I.
rec.:Jun/18/2001    pub.:Jun/18/2001    sent:Mar/1/2010


Ranking: 3.13 / 138
There were 2 men at a bar, the first man said to the other one, "I know a bridge where you can jump off and return safely." The other man who was shocked asked the man to show it to him. After they finished their drinks the second man asked him to demonstrate, so the first man jumped off the bridge and flew back. The second man dumbfounded decided why not give it a try. He jumped off and died. When the first man went back to the bar the bartender said, "Superman you are so cruel when you are drunk!"
#1276    
Thanks to: Brian Lee - West Hills - CA - USA.
rec.:Aug/25/2001    pub.:Sep/5/2001


Ranking: 3.28 / 109
This snail crawls up to this bar as it was closing. The snail pounds and pounds on the door until the bartender finally opens the door. The bartender looks around and sees nothing until the snail demands a beer. The bartender looks down and sees him, but replies, "Hey, we're closed now and besides we don't serve snails!" and proceeds to slam the door.
The snail again pounds on the door. The bartender becomes so frustrated that he opens the door again and kicks the snail away.
A year later as the bartender was about to close again, he hears a pounding on the door again. He opens the door and looks down to see the same snail again. The snail looked up and replies, "What'd you do that for?"
#274    
Thanks to: Rick Kennedy - Chicago - USA.
rec.:Mar/8/1999    pub.:Mar/8/1999    sent:Mar/8/1999


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