Category: Bar & Drinking Jokes

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Ranking: 3.12 / 139
There were 2 men at a bar, the first man said to the other one, "I know a bridge where you can jump off and return safely." The other man who was shocked asked the man to show it to him. After they finished their drinks the second man asked him to demonstrate, so the first man jumped off the bridge and flew back. The second man dumbfounded decided why not give it a try. He jumped off and died. When the first man went back to the bar the bartender said, "Superman you are so cruel when you are drunk!"
Thanks to: Brian Lee - West Hills - CA - USA.
rec.:Aug/25/2001    pub.:Sep/5/2001

Ranking: 3.28 / 109
This snail crawls up to this bar as it was closing. The snail pounds and pounds on the door until the bartender finally opens the door. The bartender looks around and sees nothing until the snail demands a beer. The bartender looks down and sees him, but replies, "Hey, we're closed now and besides we don't serve snails!" and proceeds to slam the door.
The snail again pounds on the door. The bartender becomes so frustrated that he opens the door again and kicks the snail away.
A year later as the bartender was about to close again, he hears a pounding on the door again. He opens the door and looks down to see the same snail again. The snail looked up and replies, "What'd you do that for?"
Thanks to: Rick Kennedy - Chicago - USA.
rec.:Mar/8/1999    pub.:Mar/8/1999    sent:Mar/8/1999

Ranking: 3.15 / 130
Two drunks are walking along. One drunk says to the other, "What a beautiful night, look at the moon."

The other drunk stops and looks at his drunken friend, "You are wrong. That's not the moon, that's the sun."

Both started arguing for a while when they came upon another drunk walking, so they stopped him. "Sir, could you please help settle our argument? Tell us what that thing is up in the sky that's shining. Is it the moon or the sun?"

The third drunk looked at the sky and then looked at them and said, "Sorry, I don't live around here."
Thanks to: someone - Maryland Heights - MO - USA.
rec.:Jun/12/2003    pub.:Jul/10/2003    sent:Oct/23/2013

Ranking: 2.98 / 171
Phil had just joined a club after his friend had recommended it (being a member for quite some time). They were sitting at the bar having their beers when someone yelled "21" and there was a small uproar of laughter. A few minutes later someone else yelled "34" and another roar of laughter rose up. Phil, confused about this asked his friend "Why is everyone laughing at the numbers being called out" His friend said, well we've been telling the same jokes for so many years that we just numbered them all and if you want to tell a joke you just call out a number" Phil nodded and said "Can I try?" His friend nodded and Phil called out "121" and everyone in the club roared with laughter and it didn't die down for at least another 15 minutes after. "Why did everyone laugh so hard at that joke?" Phil asked. His friend said with a small chuckle "We haven't heard that one before." 
Thanks to: Poetic 1 - Even bigger hole - New Zealand
rec.:Jul/30/2001    pub.:Jul/30/2001    sent:Aug/9/2015

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