Ranking: 3.14 / 129
Two drunks are walking along. One drunk says to the other, "What a beautiful night, look at the moon."
The other drunk stops and looks at his drunken friend, "You are wrong. That's not the moon, that's the sun."
Both started arguing for a while when they came upon another drunk walking, so they stopped him. "Sir, could you please help settle our argument? Tell us what that thing is up in the sky that's shining. Is it the moon or the sun?"
The third drunk looked at the sky and then looked at them and said, "Sorry, I don't live around here."
Thanks to: someone - Maryland Heights - MO - USA.
rec.:Jun/12/2003 pub.:Jul/10/2003 sent:Oct/23/2013
Ranking: 3.34 / 94
A guy comes in to a bar and orders a double whiskey. He drinks it and looks in his pocket. Then he orders another one, drinks it and looks in his pocket again.
This is repeated a dozen times before the bartender asks him what he is doing.
He replies, "In my pocket I have a picture of my wife. When she gets good looking, I quit drinking..."
Thanks to: Mikael Skjodt Sorensen Jol & Pangel A/S - Jśsle - Denmark
rec.:Apr/19/1999 pub.:Apr/19/1999 sent:Nov/8/2009
Ranking: 3.16 / 117
A drunk was leaning against a lamppost staring up at a signboard and yelling, "It can't be done, it's too big! Another drunk staggered by and slurred, "What can't be done?" The other drunk answered.
"What does that sign say, 'DRINK CANADA DRY'. "It's just too damn big, it canít be done!"
Thanks to: Owens Pomeroy - Baltimore - Maryland - USA.
Ranking: 3.09 / 130
Three vampires walk into a bar. The bartender looks at him suspiciously, but decides to serve them anyway. "Whatíll be, boys?"
The first vampire says "Blood. Give me blood."
The second vampire says "I too wish for blood!"
The third vampire says "Give me plasma."
The Bartender smiles and says "Got it. Two bloods, and a blood-light."
Thanks to: Rae Zacmann - Melbourne - Florida - USA.
rec.:Nov/18/2009 pub.:Dec/2/2009 sent:Nov/1/2013