Category: Bar & Drinking Jokes

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Ranking: 3.12 / 139
There were 2 men at a bar, the first man said to the other one, "I know a bridge where you can jump off and return safely." The other man who was shocked asked the man to show it to him. After they finished their drinks the second man asked him to demonstrate, so the first man jumped off the bridge and flew back. The second man dumbfounded decided why not give it a try. He jumped off and died. When the first man went back to the bar the bartender said, "Superman you are so cruel when you are drunk!"
Thanks to: Brian Lee - West Hills - CA - USA.
rec.:Aug/25/2001    pub.:Sep/5/2001

Ranking: 3.28 / 109
This snail crawls up to this bar as it was closing. The snail pounds and pounds on the door until the bartender finally opens the door. The bartender looks around and sees nothing until the snail demands a beer. The bartender looks down and sees him, but replies, "Hey, we're closed now and besides we don't serve snails!" and proceeds to slam the door.
The snail again pounds on the door. The bartender becomes so frustrated that he opens the door again and kicks the snail away.
A year later as the bartender was about to close again, he hears a pounding on the door again. He opens the door and looks down to see the same snail again. The snail looked up and replies, "What'd you do that for?"
Thanks to: Rick Kennedy - Chicago - USA.
rec.:Mar/8/1999    pub.:Mar/8/1999    sent:Mar/8/1999

Ranking: 3.15 / 130
Two drunks are walking along. One drunk says to the other, "What a beautiful night, look at the moon."

The other drunk stops and looks at his drunken friend, "You are wrong. That's not the moon, that's the sun."

Both started arguing for a while when they came upon another drunk walking, so they stopped him. "Sir, could you please help settle our argument? Tell us what that thing is up in the sky that's shining. Is it the moon or the sun?"

The third drunk looked at the sky and then looked at them and said, "Sorry, I don't live around here."
Thanks to: someone - Maryland Heights - MO - USA.
rec.:Jun/12/2003    pub.:Jul/10/2003    sent:Oct/23/2013

Ranking: 3.36 / 95
A guy comes in to a bar and orders a double whiskey. He drinks it and looks in his pocket. Then he orders another one, drinks it and looks in his pocket again.
This is repeated a dozen times before the bartender asks him what he is doing.
He replies, "In my pocket I have a picture of my wife. When she gets good looking, I quit drinking..."
Thanks to: Mikael Skjodt Sorensen Jol & Pangel A/S - Jęsle - Denmark
rec.:Apr/19/1999    pub.:Apr/19/1999    sent:Nov/8/2009

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