Category: Puns

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Ranking: 4.20 / 678
- Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
- Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
- Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
- Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
- Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
- Why is it that to stop Windows 98, you have to click on "Start"?
- Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid
- made with real lemons?
- Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
- Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
- Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
- When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
- Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
- Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
- You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why
- don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?
- Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
- Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
- If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
- If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Oct/2/2002    pub.:Oct/2/2002    sent:Dec/16/2014

Ranking: 4.08 / 627
Stupid.....But funny...

Subject: Funnies
Things to make you stop and think

1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an

2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
3. Only in drugstores make the sick walk all the way to
the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people
can buy cigarettes at the front.
4. Only in people order double cheeseburgers, large
fries, and a diet coke.
5. Only in banks leave both doors open and then chain
the pens to the counters.
6. Only in we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in
thedriveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
7. Only in we use answering machines to screen calls and
then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't
want to talk to in the first place.
8. Only in we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in
packages of eight.
9. Only in we use the word 'politics' to describe the
process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning
'bloodsucking creatures'.
10. Only in they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille

Thanks to: Mark007 - FL - USA.
rec.:Jul/1/2002    pub.:Oct/2/2002    sent:Oct/19/2012

Ranking: 3.47 / 303
Never criticize someone unless you walk a mile in his or her shoes, and then when you criticize them you'll be a mile away and have their shoes!
Thanks to: Corey Strable - Phoenix - USA.
rec.:Mar/1/2002    pub.:Mar/9/2002    sent:Sep/6/2014

Ranking: 3.59 / 105
A man put in 10 puns for a pun contest, hoping that at least one of them would win. But sadly, no pun in ten did.
Thanks to: Kevin Kumar - USA.
rec.:Nov/30/2009    pub.:Dec/2/2009    sent:Dec/23/2009

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