misc jokes

Category: "Misc Jokes"
$5.00 won 3 votes

My favorite way to de-clutter my space is to hold every item I own. If it does not bring me any joy, I toss it out.

So far I have thrown out all my vegetables, my electrical bill, a scale, a mirror, and my treadmill.

3 votes
Joke Won 10th Place won $5.00
posted by "barber7796" |
$7.00 won 4 votes

A woman arrives at the and meets Saint Peter. She says, "I was supposed to look up my husband when I got here."

Saint Peter asks, "What's his name?"

She answers, "Smith."

Saint Peter replies, "I've got hundreds of thousands of Smiths here, could you narrow it down a little?"

She responds, "His name is John Smith."

Saint Peter says, "I got thousands of John Smiths here, could you narrow it down a little?"

She answers, "He's got red hair."

Saint Peter replies, "I have hundreds of red haired John Smiths here, could you narrow it down a little?"

She responds, "Well, he told me to always remain faithful to his memory, or else he'd roll over in his grave!"

Saint Peter says, "Oh, you mean Pinwheel Smith!"

4 votes
Joke Won 8th Place won $7.00
posted by "HENNE" |
0 votes

What do you get when you cross a perfect poker hand with a successful bathroom experience by Queen Elizabeth?

A Royal Flush!

0 votes
posted by "Alan Valentine" |
0 votes

During the trade wars of the 18th century, bartering was quite common among seafaring merchants who needed laborers to load and unload their wares at each port. They were willing to trade just about anything to get strong, loyal workers.

At one port, the captain of a merchant ship had his eye on a well-built, muscular potential addition to his crew, whose name was Anwar. He approached Anwar's owner.

"I'll trade you 50 pounds of course-grained igneous quartz rock for Anwar," he proposed.

"What do you think about the offer, Anwar?" his owner asked him.

"If you ask me," Anwar replied," I don't like being taken for granite!"

0 votes
posted by "Alan Valentine" |