Category: Miscellaneous Jokes

[296]  13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27  
Ranking: 3.48 / 80
There is a knock on the pearly gates. Saint Peter looks out, and a man is standing there. Saint Peter is about to begin his interview when the man disappears. A moment later there’s another knock. Saint Peter gets the door, sees the man, opens his mouth to speak, but the man disappears once again. “Hey, are you playing games with me?” Saint Peter calls after him, rather annoyed.
“No” the man’s distant voice replies anxiously.
“They are trying to resuscitate me.”
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:May/10/2006    pub.:May/10/2006    sent:May/3/2015

Ranking: 3.10 / 135
A guest in a posh hotel comes down to breakfast and called over the head waiter and read from the menu “I’d like one under cooked egg so that it’s running, and one over cooked egg that it’s tough and hard to eat. I’d also like grilled bacon which is a bit on the cold side, burnt toast, butter straight from the freezer so that it’s impossible to spread, and a pot of very weak, lukewarm coffee.” that’s a complicated order sir, said the bewildered waiter. “It might be quite difficult.” The guest replied sarcastically, “It can’t be that difficult because that’s exactly what you brought me yesterday!”
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Jul/27/2007    pub.:Jul/27/2007    sent:Jun/4/2015

Ranking: 3.36 / 91
Never say anything bad about a man until you have walked a mile in his shoes. By then he’s a mile away, you have got his shoes, and your can say whatever you want to.
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Dec/9/2003    pub.:Dec/9/2003    sent:Nov/2/2010

Ranking: 3.16 / 122
From a passenger ship one can see a bearded man on a small island who is shouting and desperately waving is hands.
"Who is it?" a passenger asks the captain.
"I've no idea. Every year when we pass, he goes mad."
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Jan/2/2002    pub.:Jan/2/2002    sent:Mar/29/2013

[296]  13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27  


© 1995-2015 EMERgency 24 Inc.