Category: Miscellaneous Jokes

This man was talking to himself. "I wish I could meet some really important people before I die...."
A man walked up to him and said, "Hi, my name is Mike and I overheard you. I can help you because I know everybody on the planet who is alive today."
"No way, you must be pulling my leg. Let's go to Jane Hull so you can prove it to me," said the man.
So they go to Jane Hull's office, and when she notices Mike, they start to talk about how they were in kindergarten together.
"Okay, it could have been a coincidence that you were in kindergarten together. Let's go talk to the president!" said the man. So they took a jet to the White House where the President was having a press conference. When the President saw Mike, they started to talk about how they were in band together.
"Okay for your last test, let's go to the Pope!" said the man. So they took a jet to Rome and when they got there they went to a church were the Pope was giving a sermon. After the sermon, Mike walked up to the Pope and they shook hands and started to talk.
When Mike walked back over to the man, the man said, "You know, I had a hard time believing you even after the Pope until a guy came up to me and said, "Hey who is that standing next to Mike?!"

A French guest, staying in a hotel, called room service for some pepper.
"Black pepper, or white pepper?" asked the concierge.
"Toilette pepper, please!"

Isn't it strange how drivers who go slower than you are idiots and those that go faster are maniacs?

Far away in the tropical waters of the Caribbean, two prawns were swimming around in the sea - one called Justin and the other called Christian. The prawns were constantly being harassed and threatened by sharks that patrolled the area.

Finally one day Justin said to Christian, "I'm bored and frustrated at being a prawn, I wish I was a shark, then I wouldn't have any worries about being eaten..."

As Justin had his mind firmly on becoming a predator, a mysterious cod appears and says, "Your wish is granted", and lo and behold, Justin turned into a shark. Horrified, Christian immediately swam away, Afraid of being eaten by his old mate.

Time went on (as it invariably does...) and Justin found himself becoming bored and lonely as a shark. All his old mates simply swam away whenever he came close to them. Justin didn't realize that his new menacing appearance was the cause of his sad plight. While out swimming alone one day he sees the mysterious cod again and can't believe his luck. Justin figured that the fish could change him back into a prawn. He begs the cod to change him back so, lo and behold, he is turned back into a prawn.

With tears of joy in his tiny little eyes, Justin swam back to his friends and bought them all a cocktail. (The punch line does not involve a prawn cocktail - it's much worse). Looking around the gathering at the reef, he searched for his old pal. "Where's Christian?" he asked.

“He's at home, distraught that his best friend changed sides to the enemy and became a shark", came the reply.
Eager to put things right again and end the mutual pain and torture, he set off to Christian's house. As he opened the coral gate the memories came flooding back. He banged on the door and shouted, "It's me, Justin, your old friend, come out and see me again."

“Christian replied, "No way man, you'll eat me. You're a shark; the enemy and I'll not be tricked. " Justin cried back

"No, I'm not. That was the old me. I've changed."...(Wait for it) . . .
....."I've found Cod - I'm a prawn again Christian".
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