Ranking: 2.66 / 99
What part of the human body is called the "yet"?
I don't know either, but in the paper it said this lady got shot and they haven't got the bullet out of her yet!
Thanks to: Elisa - St Louis - MO - USA.
rec.:Jul/7/2004 pub.:Aug/3/2004 sent:Dec/30/2007
Ranking: 2.75 / 81
New phone app.
You know there is a lot of money to be made by developing a useful phone app.
With the fitness craze and everyone being weight conscious I put my brain cells to work on the project.
I want to announce the Newest phone app available for tracking progress in your fitness program. It is called the Personal Scale App. This is how it works. You program your I-phone or Droid with my new app. Place it on a hard surface like a tile floor and then stand on it. The phone will record your current weight and display it on the screen. My only problem is it only seems to work once.
Thanks to: billy mosteferis - valparaiso - florida - USA.
rec.:Feb/4/2011 pub.:Feb/13/2011 sent:May/2/2011
Ranking: 2.98 / 57
Far away in the tropical waters of the Caribbean, two prawns were swimming around in the sea - one called Justin and the other called Christian. The prawns were constantly being harassed and threatened by sharks that patrolled the area.
Finally one day Justin said to Christian, "I'm bored and frustrated at being a prawn, I wish I was a shark, then I wouldn't have any worries about being eaten..."
As Justin had his mind firmly on becoming a predator, a mysterious cod appears and says, "Your wish is granted", and lo and behold, Justin turned into a shark. Horrified, Christian immediately swam away, Afraid of being eaten by his old mate.
Time went on (as it invariably does...) and Justin found himself becoming bored and lonely as a shark. All his old mates simply swam away whenever he came close to them. Justin didn't realize that his new menacing appearance was the cause of his sad plight. While out swimming alone one day he sees the mysterious cod again and can't believe his luck. Justin figured that the fish could change him back into a prawn. He begs the cod to change him back so, lo and behold, he is turned back into a prawn.
With tears of joy in his tiny little eyes, Justin swam back to his friends and bought them all a cocktail. (The punch line does not involve a prawn cocktail - it's much worse). Looking around the gathering at the reef, he searched for his old pal. "Where's Christian?" he asked.
“He's at home, distraught that his best friend changed sides to the enemy and became a shark", came the reply.
Eager to put things right again and end the mutual pain and torture, he set off to Christian's house. As he opened the coral gate the memories came flooding back. He banged on the door and shouted, "It's me, Justin, your old friend, come out and see me again."
“Christian replied, "No way man, you'll eat me. You're a shark; the enemy and I'll not be tricked. " Justin cried back
"No, I'm not. That was the old me. I've changed."...(Wait for it) . . .
....."I've found Cod - I'm a prawn again Christian".
Thanks to: Julz - United Kingdom
Ranking: 3.08 / 50
Read this from Readers Digest a long time ago: One day a Cowpoke riding the plains, came upon a warrior with his head down on the ground with his ear on a wagon track, the warrior looked up at the cowpoke and said" Wagon with two horses, one black, one white, man with beard drive, smoke pipe, women ride, wear blue dress with bonnet" the cowpoke looks at the warrior and said" you mean you can tell me all that just by listening to a wagon track? The warrior looked up and replied, "No! Run over me half hour ago...
Thanks to: R. S. - Toppenish - Washington - USA.
rec.:Dec/20/2006 pub.:Feb/5/2007 sent:Mar/4/2007