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A man requires surgery to remove his left leg. He consults with the surgeon; plans are made for surgery the next morning. Morning comes and the Surgeon arrives still intoxicated from a night on the town. He removes the left leg only after mistakenly removing the right. Needless to say the patient, after recovering, saw a lawyer who told him he couldn't win, because he didn't have a leg to stand on.

A man goes to see his lawyer to prepare his will. At the first meeting, the lawyer takes all the information down, and sends the man home, telling him to come see him again in two weeks.
Two weeks later, the man comes back, reads the will and signs it in front of three witnesses. The lawyer says: "That will be $100." (This is an old joke.)
The man pays him, shakes his hand and leaves.
The lawyer looks down in his hand and notices not one but two $100 bills, and so, he faces a serious ethical dilemma.
Do you know what the dilemma is?


Does he tell his partner, or not?

An old, stingy lawyer was dying and was determined to prove wrong the old saying, "You can't take it with you". He told his wife to go down to the bank and withdraw enough money to fill two pillowcases.

His plan: Put the bags directly over his bed and when he died grab them on his way up to heaven. One day the old ambulance chaser died. When his wife was up cleaning in the attic one day, she came across the forgotten pillowcases.

She then said to herself, “That old fool. I knew he should have had me put them in the basement!"

A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried a creative defense to get his client off the hook. "My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few paltry items. His arm is not himself, so I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offense committed soley by his arm."
"Well put," the judge replied with a grin. "Using that same logic, I sentence the defendant's arm to one year's imprisonment. Your client can accompany the arm or not, as he chooses."
The defendant smiled. With his lawyer's help, he detatched his artificial limb, laid it on the bench and walked out.