1. Your potted plants stay alive. 
2. You keep more food than beer in the fridge. 
3. 6:00 A.M. is when you get up, not when you go to sleep. 
4. You hear your favorite song on an elevator. 
5. You carry an umbrella. You watch the Weather Channel.
6. Your friends marry and divorce instead of hookup and breakup. 
7. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 7.
8. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as 'dressed up'. 
9. You're the one calling the police because those darn kids next door don't know how to turn down the stereo.
10. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up. 
11. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt. 
12. You no longer take naps from noon to 6 p.m.
13. Dinner and a movie = The whole date instead of the beginning of one.
14. "I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm never going to drink that much again." 
15. Over 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.