Betty's psychiatrist convinced her that she had 120 different personalities.
Then billed her insurance company for Group therapy!

A man walks out of a bar totally hammered, only to be greeted by a snobby woman.
She takes one look at him. “You, sir, are drunk!"
"And you ma'am, are ugly. But when I wake up, I will be sober!"

One day Little Jonnie says to his father:
I want to get married.
Father: Oh, so do you have someone special in your mind?
Johnny: Yes...Grandma
Father: What? There is a problem now; you want to marry my Mother?
Johnny: Why not? You married my mother

"Doctor, Doctor, You've got to help me - I just can't stop my hands shaking!"
"Do you drink a lot?"
"Not really - I spill most of it!"