An elderly man was remembering the good old days. “When I was young, my mom could send me to a shop with a single dollar, and I would bring back 5 pounds of potatoes, 2 breads, a bottle of milk, a piece of cheese, and 10 eggs.

Nowadays that is impossible... there are simply too many security cameras!

A man was looking for someone to paint his porch. So he hired a young lady and told her what to do. After about 30 minutes, the lady came to the door and said, “I’m done.”

The man asked, “How did you get done so fast?”

The lady said, “It was hard at first, but it got easier towards the end. And by the way, it’s a Ferrari, not a Porsche.”

What did Jay-Z call his girlfriend before they got married?

Feyonce'

Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!