A man called, furious about an Orlando Florida vacation package a Travel Agency had booked for him. He was expecting an ocean-view hotel room.
The Travel Agency explained that was not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state.
“Don’t lie to me,” he said. “I looked on the map, and Florida is a very thin state.”
A guy dies and is sent to hell. Satan meets him, shows him doors to three rooms, and says he must choose one to spend eternity in.
In the first room, people are standing in dirt up to their necks. The guy says, "No, let me see the next room."
In the second room, people are standing in dirt up to their noses. Guy says no again.
Finally Satan opens the third room. People are standing with dirt up to their knees, drinking coffee and eating pastries.
The guy says, "Ok, I pick this room." Satan says Ok and starts to leave, and the guy wades in and starts pouring some coffee.
On the way out Satan yells, "OK, coffee break’s over. Everyone back on your heads!"