Q: What did the potato chip say to the battery?

A: If you are eveready I am frito-lay.

Q: How much does it cost a pirate to get ear rings?
A: A Buck-an-ear.

Q: Why would they not let the Pirate into the theater?
A: Because it was rated rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Why worry, there only two things to worry about.
Either you are well or you are sick.
If you are well there is nothing to worry about.
If you are sick then there are only two things to worry about.
Either you will get well or you will die.
If you get well then there is nothing to worry about.
If you die then there are only two things to worry about.
Either you will go to heaven or you will go to hell.
If you go to heaven then there is nothing to worry about.
If you go to hell you will be so damn busy shaking hands with your friends that you wont have time to worry.