tweetyr Profile

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tweetyr

User Details

Member Since : Dec, 2015
# of jokes posted : 10
# of followers : 5
# of following: 0
eligible jokes to win : 0
Location: United States
won: $ 128.00
5 votes

Q: How did the butcher introduce his wife?

A: Meet Patty.

5 votes

CATEGORY Food Jokes
posted by "tweetyr" |
1 votes

What did one computer say to the other?

0101010101010101010101

1 votes

posted by "tweetyr" |
$9.00 won 11 votes

Four expectant fathers pace in a hospital waiting room while their wives are in labor. The nurse enters and tells the first man, "Congratulations, you're the father of twins."

"What a coincidence," the man says. "I work for the Minnesota Twins baseball team."

A little later, the nurse returns and tells the second man, "You are the father of triplets."

"That's really an incredible coincidence," he answers. "I work for the 3M Corporation."

An hour later, the nurse tells the third man that his wife has just given birth to quadruplets. The man says, "I don't believe it! I work for the Four Seasons. What a coincidence."

After hearing this, everyone's attention turns to the fourth guy who has just fainted. He slowly regains consciousness and whispers, "I should have never taken that job at Millennium Computers."

11 votes

CATEGORY Office Jokes
Joke Won 6th Place won $9.00
posted by "tweetyr" |
$25.00 won 9 votes

Brian’s stress level was at unsurpassed levels.  His wife Maggie was in labor and Brian was sure it was time to head to the hospital.  Breathing heavily, Brian grabbed the phone and called the doctor.  

“MY WIFE, SHE’S READY, SHOULD WE COME?”  The doctor tried to relax the poor fellow, “just try to relax, now tell me how much time elapses between the contractions?” 

“MAGGIE!” Brian screamed on the top of his lungs, “HOW MUCH TIME IN BETWEEN THE CONTRACTIONS? TEN MINUTES? OK, TEN MINUTES IN BETWEEN DOCTOR!”

“And is this her first child?” questioned the doctor.

“NO YOU STUPID NITWIT, THIS IS HER HUSBAND!”

9 votes

CATEGORY Doctor Jokes
Joke Won 2nd Place won $25.00
posted by "tweetyr" |