tweetyr Profile

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tweetyr

User Details

Member Since : Dec, 2015
# of jokes posted : 10
# of followers : 5
# of following: 0
eligible jokes to win : 0
Location: United States
won: $ 128.00
$25.00 won 11 votes

Death comes to take a lawyer away.

The lawyer cries and pleads, "Why so early? I am only forty!"

Death replies, "Not according to the hours you billed."

11 votes

CATEGORY Lawyer Jokes
Joke Won 2nd Place won $25.00
posted by "tweetyr" |
$9.00 won 11 votes

Four expectant fathers pace in a hospital waiting room while their wives are in labor. The nurse enters and tells the first man, "Congratulations, you're the father of twins."

"What a coincidence," the man says. "I work for the Minnesota Twins baseball team."

A little later, the nurse returns and tells the second man, "You are the father of triplets."

"That's really an incredible coincidence," he answers. "I work for the 3M Corporation."

An hour later, the nurse tells the third man that his wife has just given birth to quadruplets. The man says, "I don't believe it! I work for the Four Seasons. What a coincidence."

After hearing this, everyone's attention turns to the fourth guy who has just fainted. He slowly regains consciousness and whispers, "I should have never taken that job at Millennium Computers."

11 votes

CATEGORY Office Jokes
Joke Won 6th Place won $9.00
posted by "tweetyr" |
$50.00 won 11 votes
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Wilfred had just learned his ABC's and was very scared of reciting them in front of his class. He stood in front of the class trembling and began, "A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, and Z."

His teacher said, "Very good, Wilfred. But you forgot P. Where's the P?"

He replied," It's running down my leg."

11 votes

CATEGORY Kid Jokes
Joke Won 1st Place won $50.00
posted by "tweetyr" |
$12.00 won 7 votes

A man working with an electric saw accidentally cuts off all of his fingers. At the emergency room, his doctor says, "Give me the fingers, and I'll see what I can do."

The injured man replies, "But I don't have the fingers!"

"Why didn't you bring them?" the doctor asks.

The injured man responds, "Doc, I couldn't pick them up."

7 votes

CATEGORY Doctor Jokes
Joke Won 4th Place won $12.00
posted by "tweetyr" |