As I grew a beard my wife said, "That beard looks ugly."

I replied, "I'm growing a beard to keep the girls away."

She laughed, "There aren't any girls around."

"There," I quipped, "it's working already."

When deer hunting you must sit still and be quiet for long periods of time.

That's why doctors are such good hunters.

They have lots of patients.

A Student wanting to measure something asks his teacher, "Sir, do you have a ruler?"

"Yes," answers the teacher, "She's at home watching the kids."