As I grew a beard my wife said, "That beard looks ugly."
I replied, "I'm growing a beard to keep the girls away."
She laughed, "There aren't any girls around."
"There," I quipped, "it's working already."
When deer hunting you must sit still and be quiet for long periods of time.
That's why doctors are such good hunters.
They have lots of patients.
A Student wanting to measure something asks his teacher, "Sir, do you have a ruler?"
"Yes," answers the teacher, "She's at home watching the kids."