The patient runs into his psychiatrist's office and says, "Doc, I think I'm a tepee, no I think I'm a wigwam, no I think I'm a tepee, no I think I'm a wigwam, no I think I'm a tepee, no I think I'm a wigwam!"
The psychiatrist looks at him and says, "Relax, you're just too tents!"
This poor man is facing surgery on both his feet because of severe wounds. The doctor has warned him that he cannot tell how bad the damage is until he gets him in the operating room and he has prepared the man for the worst.
After surgery, the man is slowly waking up and he sees the surgeon approaching his bed. The doc looks at him and says, "I have good news news and I have bad news - which would you like first?"
The man nervously responds, "Give me the bad news first." The doc says, "I had to take both your feet"
"Oh my, what could possibly be the good news?" says the man.
"The guy in the bed next to you wants to buy your slippers!"