I tried to flip my house last week...

All I got for it was three herniated discs!

A Catholic Priest, a Protestant Minister, and a Jewish Rabbi were fishing one day. The Priest and the Minister got into a deep discussion as to when life truly begins.

The Priest said that life is eternal, even before one is born into this world. The Minister disagreed and claimed life can only truly begin once a person is actually born into this world.

The two debated this for some time. Finally, the Rabbi spoke up and said, "My brothers, you have it all wrong. True life can only begin when the kids graduate collage and move out of the house."

A Union President was sitting at his son's bedside getting ready to read him a bedtime story.

He starts out, "Once upon a time and a half..."