Have you guys heard the rumor concerning butter?

Never mind, I'd better not spread it.

After a tiring day at work, a husband was able to sneak out an hour early. He just wanted to get home and lie down in bed next to his wife.

He gets home and slides into bed next to his sleeping wife. But then he hears a sound coming from underneath. He puts his hand under the bed, expecting to feel the wet nose or tongue of his dog Buddy. He asks, "Is that you, Buddy?"

His hand gets licked and then he hears, "Yes, it's me, Buddy."

Q: What kind of dress can't be put on?

A: An address.

I knew that Charlotte was cheating on me when she said that she was shopping with Jessie.

Meanwhile, Jessie was right next to me having dinner.

I was so hurt and disappointed.