I got attacked by ransomware and was asked for money...

I sent them my pay stub...

Not only did they immediately remove the malware from my system, but they also put some money into my account.

I have decided that I am going to stay a virgin throughout my life...

That way I can set an example for my kids.

"I can't remember...

Do I work at home or do I live at work?

Which is it?

A bank clerk is talking with her colleague. "I think now-a-days my beauty has been decreasing."

"Why do you think that?" asked the colleague.

"The men who are withdrawing cash at my counter are actually counting their money."